teenage dirtbag

II: eddie

Dear diary: I think I stared at that guy Tozier for too long, he stared back at me. It was so fucking embarrassing, I bet he thinks I'm a creep now.

"Come on, Eddie baby, you have to eat your breakfast now, otherwise you won't be able to digest it before going to school and it's going to hurt your stomach!"

God damn it

"I'm coming!"

Eddie Kapsbrak hated his life, he was miserable in every single aspect... It may seem like an aggressive start, but there is no other way of telling it. His life fucking sucked.

His mother kept shouting his name until he went downstairs and sat down on his chair, and, as no surprise, his breakfast was already served next to his bunch of pills, waiting for him to swallow them like...

What is that?

"What...?" He asked, taking the pamphlets that were spread over the table.

"Well..." His mother said, "they are from a nice Christian getaway Harriet's mother keeps talking about... You know... To get away from this awful town for a bit, just you and I..." her eyes were lit up with excitement and... Hope.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I. Am. Not. Gay. There's no need to do all of this, geez!" Eddie said, sitting on his chair, sighing. He already had a bad start.

"It's not about that Eddie, c'mon!" Said the woman uncomfortably.

"Momma, I'm TIRED of explaining it to you, you gotta stop with this nonsense!"

"Well, but... Harriet, well, her mother told me..." She said. Eddie looked at her, lifting an eyebrow. "You two haven't... You know..." She put her two index fingers together, expressing her idea a little bit too graphically.

"Oh, Oh my God, STOP, no, no, no." Eddie jumped off his chair and walked straight to his backpack. "I am NOT having this conversation."

"She's a lovely girl, you should already-"

Eddie interrupted her. "NO WAY I am talking about this, nu-huh." His cheeks felt like burning. "End of story, I'm leaving, I'm leaving, this... No. No. No."

"Eddie darling, wait-"

"NO. I'm going to school. End of story." And this being said, he left his house, banging the door, he could hear his mother yell: YOU BETTER COME BACK HERE IN THIS EXACT INSTANT EDWARD KASPBRAK, but he kept on walking.

Since fucking when his mother was so concerned about his sexual life? Eddie was NOT gay, he was just fucking scared of his manipulative girlfriend. Yes, that was it, he liked other girls... Like... Like... Madonna, Gloria Gaynor... Of course, he wouldn't tell this to his mother, she'd have a cow if she knew her son liked a black woman, that racist old hag. He just didn't like girls his age... Or any girl he knew for that matter. It was just that he was too mature for them, that was it, yeah.

Eddie looked in his backpack, his cassette player and his headphones were there, thank God. Sadly, he didn't have time to pick up his mixtapes, so he was stuck with The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, one of the many cassettes his father left him. It surely wasn't his favorite genre but it was... Comforting.

"People stare at the make-up on his face..." He started singing as he sat under the bleachers, he was very sure none of his popular "friends" will find him there. "Laugh at his long black hair, his animal grace..."

He always liked that song, it was special for him, he always wanted to know who Lady Stardust was for Bowie. That boy in the bright blue jeans that made him think that it was alright, Eddie pictured him with long, wild hair, probably curly, something everyone liked to have around even though he could act like a jerk sometimes, someone who was not afraid to be who they were, someone that made femme Fatales emerge from the shadows and made boys stand up on their chairs.

Eddie smiled sadly, not for a love that he could not obey, but for a love that he haven't realized yet.

"Really quite out of sight, and he sang—" Eddie was singing when he heard someone falling to the grass, very close to him, a pair of glasses flew to his lap, he looked up to see their owner crawling, looking for them with their hands.

"All night long?" Eddie finally looked at the person continuing the lyrics with a little smile, knees, and palms on the grass.

It was him, that boy, the one that made jokes during class, the one with curly hair and the Hawaiian t-shirt! Richie Tozier!

"Oh, how I sighed..." Richie continued, trying to fill the awkward silence.

"When they asked if I knew his name..." Eddie spoke, as he put the glasses on the hands of the other boy.

"Great song," He simply said, putting on his glasses and looking around him. "Kaspbrak, right?" He asked.

"Huh?" Eddie was completely stunned, god damn it, that hot bastard. "E-Eddie." He corrected him.

"Eddie spaghetti?" Richie joked.

"Fuck you, man."

"Woah! I'm sorry, Eduardo"

It was like Richie couldn't shut the fuck up and Eddie could not get himself to say a word.

"I said, Eddie."

"Okay, E-ddie. What are you doing here? This is my spot"

"I thought it was school property."

"You are funny. B-But I better go. I don't want your girlfriend to kick my ass." Richie said as he stood up.

"N-no" Eddie said, not thinking very clearly. "I have the whole album..." Eddie showed the other guy his cassette.

"I'm more of the Queen type but sure, I like Bowie." Tozier sat down and took one of Eddie's earphones.

It felt... Nice. For the first time, Eddie didn't care that someone was touching his stuff, even if someone was putting his stuff in their ear. Eddie couldn't look at him, his toes moved inside his keds, the other guy was not looking at him either, which was relaxing in sort of way.

Why was his heart beating so fast? Why was his face so hot? Why did his stomach ache? Why did he feel dizzy? It was not as if he liked Richie Tozier...

"Put your electric eye on me, babe..." Richie started mumbling. "Put your ray gun to my head. Press your space face close to mine, love..."

"Freaked out in a moonage daydream, oh, yeah..."

Well, fuck.