🥒 larry the cucumber x alvin the chipmunk 🐿

✨🌈 a day worth remembering 🌊✨

Alvin's POV:

It was late on a terribly tenacious Tuesday night when a mysterious figure walked into the bar. I had been sitting in the corner booth, edgily staring out the window while listening to ROAR when he caught my attention. He was dressed in a dashing suede trench coat with the top few buttons undone so that you could see a sliver of his shiny bare chest. He sensually took his hat off and hung it on the rack, revealing his cactus-green bald head which shimmered under the florescent light. He began to strut across the floor in my direction. His skin was smooth--too smooth--because he fucking slipped and fell on the tile floor while he was walking and hit his head.

The bar tender gasped and rushed to his side in 4.2069 seconds flat and found him unconscious. "SOMEBODY HELP!!" the woman wailed.

I jumped from my seat and began to sexily perform the chorus of "Breathin" by Ariana Grande on top of one of the tables hoping it would resuscitate him but it broke in half underneath me and the manager appeared and cried, "oh no! our table! it's broken!" and then the bar tender called an ambulance for the unconscious cucumber.

When the paramedics arrived, I silently watched as they removed his trench coat, revealing his hot sculpted bod underneath. The sight of his bulging abs made my tiny rodent heart skip a beat, and that's when I knew that I would do anything to have him so I stowed away under the ambulance to the hospital like a fucking creep. I slunk behind the paramedics into the building and stole some scrubs from a random closet I walked into. Once inside, I frantically ran to the desk and asked "where'd the sexy green veggie man go" to which the receptionist who was zooey deschanel replied: "he's in the third room on the right" and then started singing a random christmas song as I ran towards the hall. I sprinted as fast as I could down the hallway and into the room. The doctor, who was performing some tests on my handsome green pookie bear, looked at me in disbelief.

The half naked cucumber gazed at me from the hospital bed with his black beady eyes and said in a deep charming voice, "it's you."

"it's always been me" i replied softly as the doctor dialed a number on the phone. 

He yelled, "why is there a rat in the ER wtf call an exterminator I think he wants to eat my patient or something"

"oh i think he does" the cucumber smirked promiscuously. this made me blush but i knew that he couldn't see it under my fur. "the name's larry" he said as he ran his eyes up and down my body. I scurried over to the bed on all fours with excitement and began to run my hands up the part of him that i was pretty sure was the equivalent of his legs. It was at that moment that security burst into the door and began violently trying to pry me away. but my hunger for larry only grew stronger and i used by massive buck teeth to bite all of the security officers to death and then locked the door and continued making out with the cucumber. 

I began to suck on his neck and tasted the sweet veggie juice that oozed out of him which made him whimper in delight. I ripped off all of my clothes and began to rail the shit out of him and he screamed "jesus... auhh, christ is... UHHH.. our... lord and...SAVIOR!" as he climaxed. Then I came all over him and sensually whispered in his ear hole "you know, everyone always tells me I make the best cucumber salad"

Suddenly, Bob the tomato burst in the door and cried, "Larry! how could you!?" and then hopped out of the room.

"No, bobby bear it's not what it looks like!" Larry jumped up and ran after Bob. I quickly rushed after them completely naked because my clothes were ripped and followed them out of the hospital.

"I will never forgive you!" screamed bob as tears streamed down his face. Then a car ran into him at 52 miles per hour and tomato juice exploded everywhere.

Larry turned to me and said "I never really loved him anyway. let's run away together and never look back" and then we lived happily ever after.