anti-romantic | minsung (DISCONTINUED)

十九

stop. just.. stop. Those words rang throughout his mind each passing day. Those words were the particular words he wanted to tell the older to tell him to stop pretending that nothing was wrong. each time Minho came to visit Jisung, his eye bags got visibly darker, yet, how could the older still flash a smile and act as if nothing was wrong? how could he still have the guts to approach Jisung and act like nothing was wrong but can break down in front of his friends?

does Minho-Hyung not trust me enough? is our connection not strong enough? am I not good enough for him? am I not worth his time? so many thoughts, yet so little time... 

"JISUNG!!!" Felix cheered with that smile of his that could light up the darkest room, preventing Jisung from overthinking any further. "oh hey Lix," the latter replied as he lifted his head to face the younger, looking around as soon as he realized there were other people that Felix brought into the room with him. Jisung's eyes scanned the room as it soon landed on the male he was thinking about, Minho. 

while the latter was looking at his phone smiling, Jisung was there, sitting on the hospital bed, staring at the older with eyes filled with jealousy and sadness, there was a small yet visible frown on the younger's face as he watched his unofficial lover smile and laugh lightly at his phone. Jisung was happy that he could see the smiling Minho he always wanted to see apart from the fatigued Minho he always saw, but what made him sad was that Minho was being all smiley and happy, without Jisung being the reason he was being like that, it was as if all Jisung was turning him into, was a tired, fatigued, and gloomy person.  Jisung didn't like that, but what could he do about it? it's not like he could just go up to Minho and straight up ask him about it, he was too much a pussy to do that anyways. so he could only watch his unofficial lover be happy without him, the only thing Jisung didn't want for Minho. 

"oi min, not gonna say hi to the person you cried about?" Hyunjin nudged the older that was staring at his phone. "huh?" the older replied obliviously, showing that he wasn't paying attention to the younger male. ouch, that hurt. Jisung thought as he scrunched his nose, looking a the older with sour yet sad eyes, studying carefully as Minho approached the younger, embracing him with the warm atmosphere the younger longed for. Jisung took in the other's scent as he didn't recognize the sweet scent Minho had on his clothes. "Hyung, did u change your perfume?" Jisung asked as soon as the older let go, stunned by the younger's question, Minho stood there puzzled and shocked. how does he know what I smell like? Minho questioned in his head as he tilted his face with a puzzled look. why did he ask me the question? Minho questioned once again as he started to sniff on his jacket. oh shit, it's her perfume. Minho thought once again as he widened his eyes in realization. "o-oh yeah, I changed my perfume just yesterday, haha.." Minho said, chuckling nervously as he scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact with the younger.  The others in the room looked at Minho suspiciously as Seungmin burst out laughing. "you? changing perfume? that's the funniest thing you said this week!" he said, wiping away tears of laughter. Jisung looked down at the hospital sheets, tears welling up in his eyes as he bit his lips to refrain from making any sound that could make them think he was crying. after a few seconds, he looked up at Minho as bead-like tears rolled out of his eyes, a red bottom lip could be visible. I knew I shouldn't have trusted him, I trusted him with the most valuable thing, my heart. all he did was take it and shatter it.  "Hyung, you know you don't have to lie right?" Jisung said as he looked at Minho with eyes that looked almost as if he was pleading the other. Minho was looking directly down at the floor, fidgeting with his fingers. "Hyung, why...?" Jisung said, his voice breaking as he said it, still looking at the older, this time with eyes of sadness and disappointment. "I gotta go." Minho abruptly said, taking his things and was about to leave, "Hyung, stay with me please..." Jisung managed to say before the older had stepped foot out of the room, "I want to, but I cant, please understand that Ji, I'll stay another day okay?" The older reassured before making his way out of the hospital.

stay true to your word. Jisung thought as his heart gave Minho a chance once more.