Tharn did not have to leave

Departure

Earlier in the day, Type had sent Tharn a text message explaining the few rules that should govern their relationship now. After all, they weren't a couple, they were just friends who slept together. Tharn didn't have to be jealous of Puifai, there were no feelings involved. Type repeated this to himself like a mantra, but he could tell himself whatever he wanted, he was afraid of what would happen if Tharn ended it all.

Type walked back to his dormitory, arriving at the door to his room, he paused for a few seconds, he didn't know if Tharn was already there, or not.

"It's okay, Type. Tharn's never going to end this, is he? And, why are you afraid he's going to end it all? This should make you feel better, you're going out with Puifai, a nice, sweet girl," Type muttered to himself to give himself enough courage to open the damned door.

When he opened the door, Tharn was already there, at his desk. He had his headphones on, probably doing his homework. He seemed relaxed and, without knowing why, Type felt his heart twist as if he knew he was about to lose something precious in his life.

Tharn, on the other hand, had also been thinking about this. Type was courting a girl, soon he would probably tell her they were dating, it was inevitable.

It was one of the hardest decisions of his life, but he had to make a choice. So, he had made it: the choice to let Type go. He preferred not to sleep with Type like he didn't feel anything, he wanted Type to feel something when he was with him. He wanted Type to feel the same way he did, but he didn't. Type had just told him through his message.

Besides, the break-up was bound to come at some point with the couple becoming official... He might as well end this charade immediately, as long as his heart wasn't too attached to Type, even though it might already be too late for that.

Tharn saw Type enter the room, he seemed worried, a problem with the classes or with... Puifai? Tharn didn't want to speak first, he might have made up his mind, but he preferred not to lose Type. He wanted to imagine Type belonging to him for a little while longer, just a few more moments.

"Tharn? Have you thought this through? I need an answer," it was Type who broke the silence. The words barely came out, he felt like he was going to run out of air just saying them.

"Hm...", Tharn turned his head towards Type, this was the moment he had been dreading. "I refuse to be your little secret when you go out with her, so I might as well end this now." Tharn didn't want to see Type's reaction, indifference or relief, he wanted to imagine that his words had touched him, a little at least. He immediately went back to what he was doing before.

Perhaps he should have looked Type in the eye, he could have seen his deepest feelings. Type's heart crumbled, cracked, broke. The heart that had tried to warn Type that he was going to lose something today, because of his stupid pride. Type who felt empty without wanting to know why because deep down he knew.

Days passed after that conversation, and Type felt emptier and emptier. Tharn avoided him, coming home late at night just before curfew. As soon as he was in the room, he would take a shower and go straight to bed with his headphones on. All this when he deigned to come home, of course. The only thing that hadn't changed was that Tharn often came to eat with him and Techno, not as much as before but occasionally. After all, he had somehow struck up a friendship with Techno, he liked the boy. Unconsciously, Type held on to these moments.

For the first few days, Type had foolishly thought that Tharn would reconsider, and he expected at any moment to find Tharn standing over him, kissing him. That never happened, except in his dreams. He didn't even have those dreams with Puifai. With her, everything was fine, but whenever he saw her, he couldn't help but compare her to Tharn: when she said she liked something, Type wondered if Tharn would like it; when she took his hand with her small hand, Type would compare it to Tharn's hands, which were bigger than his own, etc.