I Don't Want To Wait (Directors Cut) A King Of The Hill Creepypasta

I Don't Want To Wait (Directors Cut)

I don't really know how to start this post. So...sorry in advance...

I've been an Adult Swim fan for as long as I can remember. Some of my favorite shows back in the day were Space Ghost, Futurama, Home Movies, Aquateen, and the cult classic, King Of The Hill. King of the Hill is a show about an "All American" family residing in Arlen Texas. This family consisting of alpha male and propane salesman, Hank Hill. His airheaded housewife, Peggy Hill, and son, Bobby Hill. This show is loved by many in the Adult Swim community as well as the general public. Be it through the countless memes or just the admiration for how good it was, King of the Hill will always be one of the greats... which brings us to our feature presentation.

So I was at Savers the other day, casually searching for movies to watch since being a single man can get quite lonely. I did find a few tapes like "The Thing From Another World" and some other thrillers, but as I was heading to the checkout, I found a VHS tape in one of those little grab bag thingies. I had a closer look to find a blank case with "KOTH SEASON 5 P1" on the cover. Being the fan that I am, I decided to snatch the tape while I still could. 

Once I got home from my round trip (plus the 7\11 pitstop for a few cold ones and some nachos) I slid the tape into my old VCR, plopped onto my couch, and tuned in. Obviously the video was a bit grainy from old age, but first thing I noticed was a time stamp on the bottom right corner, it read "Director's Cut 2000" which means I somehow wound up finding a tape of the director's cut of some oldie but goodie episodes! The episode opened with Bobby visiting his grandma and at the time boyfriend for a few days, nothing exciting to note about other than Bobby's 13th birthday was approaching. These scenes gave me a few chuckles here and there...at least until we faded to the next scene...

The Hills were on their way to "Rattlesnakes" a run of the mill Mexican eatery, similar to most fast food places like Taco Bell and such. Peggy and Hank were babbling on about how Joseph would be returning from Summer camp at this time. Bobby joked about how he'd be taking Joseph "under his wing" before the family arrived in the parking lot. Dale and his wife, Nancy got out of their car and helped their now 6 foot son out of the back seat. "Joseph?????" Bobby gasped. Joseph looked into his friends eyes only to deliver an awkward "Hey Bobby..." I somewhat remember watching this episode and having a particular distaste for Joseph at the time, but this episode kinda made me feel bad for the guy as I was going through puberty at the time the episode first aired. 

The following scene continued with Bobby and Joseph's parents casually talking about how their summers went before panning to Joseph just staring into space. All dialogue in the background was muted before cutting to a weird "drug trip" scene of sorts where Joseph was basically just talking to himself, before the segment ended... white text popped up reading "Is THIS the life I want?" before fading to the day of Bobby's 13th birthday. Our favorite child star in the making was busy getting about 16-20 different kinds of subs, which is honestly NOT surprising (You guys should get the joke by now) After a few seconds, it cut to Joseph sitting at his desk and writing some elaborate plan to...well it didn't say at first but I'll save it for the next clip. 

Our final clip was Bobby's party where he and about 15 or so other kids were dancing, drinking punch, and doing the normal early 2000s teenage stuff. Then a loud gun fire was heard. "Everybody stop. You're my bitches now..." a deep voice shouted. "Ok, dad. Very funny." Bobby laughed, "Now let's just put the gun down and have some punch." the obese kid was hen grabbed by the shirt collar. "BOBBY!" Connie screamed. 

"Enough, kid." the mysterious being retorted, "He'll probably be dead within 3 days tops. Then you all will have your fair share..." the person then walked out with Bobby before fading to the backyard. "What was that all about?" Bobby asked nervously. "Oh please, dude. Those people ain't worth your time." The mysterious person then removed a mask of sorts revealing it to be Joseph the entire time. "Come on, Bobby. I made a plan for you, me, and Connie to run away together. We don't need to be here! And saying no is not an option." Connie then stepped out to find Joseph and Bobby in the backyard... "Oh, so it was YOU this entire time?" the girl scoffed. "Now, Connie dear... Let's not be irrational, our friend here was just pranking us." Bobby replied. "No dude.... I'm being serious..." Joseph said firmly. "I stole about $50 from my parent's safe. That'll get us through until I can get a stable job." Bobby and Connie looked at each other confused. "The fuck is he on about?" Connie whispered to her boyfriend, "Not sure. But we should just roll with it for now." Bobby whispered back. "Y-You know what, Joseph? We'll come on your little journey here. I'm sure it'll be worth it. Wait....Where'd he go???" Bobby said before Dale's truck then SPEEDED into the yard, crashing through a fence in the process.. "Whoops..." Joseph sighed. "Now hurry up and pile in before somebody sees us!" He whispered as Bobby and Connie piled in the back. Screen randomly cut to static for a few seconds...

The next few minutes were Bobby, Joseph, and Connie's parents worrying about where the hell their kids might have gone. I'd simply put it as "The Devil's Hour" since it went from a civil conversation to a full blown fight. Beer cans were thrown, fence pieces used as weapons, and just overall got physical... All of it ended with the final scene where Joseph was sitting on the side of the road trying to signal someone for a ride or something. "I really fucked up..." he said before collapsing to the ground, ending the episode...

Before the credits rolled, we're greeted to another quote. "We all make choices in life...Some good, some bad. Either way, you're fucked." before the tape just ended from there... 

It all felt like some fever dream, but I shit you not it was real... I'm hoping to find SOME way of archiving it to an MP4 file on my laptop so I can post it on YouTube or something... Until then, I guess this is farewell...