From The Sidelines.

The National Tournament.

A bead of water falls down the side of the glass. It falls and joins the little pool of iced liquid that formed a circle at the bottom, staining the table. Oh , Izuku realized.

He had forgotten a coaster. Usually, his mother had a pet peeve about leaving water stains on the tables, so, from when he was little until now, Izuku's always gotten a little scolding every time he forgot to use a coaster for cold glasses of water. He's surprised that his mother, who was talking to him right now, hadn't gotten onto him for it yet.

Or maybe she did. Izuku wouldn't know, for all the words sounded like buzzing and white noise to his ears, as his mind drifted off somewhere else. It's curious how the world can feel numb when the most exhilarating aspect of your life just...stops. And suddenly, even the water droplets on the side of a glass feels more interesting than the Katsuki-less reality that he's forced himself into. The ticking of the grandfather clock set up against olive green walls was all but a faint noise mixed with the zoned out murmuring of whatever it was that his mother was saying. Being underwater was a similar sensation, everything muffled and muddled.

On his lips, Izuku still feels the remnants of the kiss from yesterday evening. The ghosts of cherry gatorade and Katsuki's natural scent still lingered in his mouth, or maybe, his stupidly wishful heart tricked himself into believing so. If he lets himself think about it, then he can still remember the slight pressure of Katsuki's lips on his, pulling him into a deep but very brief kiss, and the fingertips that tilted his chin up. Was he really that touch starved that even that faint touch was enough to set him back three steps?

However, if he does, in fact, let himself think on it, then he will spiral into madness. What had that meant? If anything at all? Why did he do that? Why did Katsuki have to go and do that? Did he not care about Izuku's wish to get over the blonde? Had he forgotten? Or did Katsuki kiss him knowing full well the situation. If so, does that...does that mean... And that's as far as Izuku would let himself hopelessly dream, before reeling him back in.

He doesn't want to think about Katsuki anymore, but it's easier said than done. He wants to be thinking of other things right then. Badminton, for example. Block matches will be starting soon. Or college. Filling out more paperwork, and buying things for Waseda. Or quite literally anything else.

Because if he begins to think about Katsuki, then he will also think about where Katsuki is right now, and where Izuku isn't . And the moment Izuku allows himself to think about National Qualifiers, he knows that he will lose his willpower. He had excuses, he told himself. Even if he had been dreaming of this for literally forever: seeing Katsuki at Nationals. Even before they became partners, Izuku's always wanted to see him there. In the past, the greenette hadn't been able to attend Youth Nationals either because it had been so far away. It was only in his freshman year that his mother was willing and available to drive all that way for him to watch. And so, it would've been like any other year if Izuku didn't come.

But he knew deep down that it wasn't. It wasn't the same. Because every other year, Katsuki wasn't so adamant that Izuku come make his appearance as he was now. Because every other year, Katsuki didn't pole vault onto his roof--just because the tree branch leading to his window had been cut off--just to kiss him right before a tournament. Because every other year, they weren't best friends.

But what could he do. What could Izuku fucking do. He's always been mesmerized by Katsuki's vaulting, and so he knows that if he stood there today, on that stadium in Nagoya, and sees Katsuki fly again, then he would fall in love all over again. He knows it'll be over for him, because from the very beginning, watching the blonde jump was the very thing that stole his breath away in the first place. And then to see it now at Nationals where Katsuki, in all his glory, was at his peak performance? There's no chance he'll be able to make it through alive.