I was going crazy . I have been walking around since 6 hours already without knowing where I should go. What would I do with my life now ? How will I survive ? I knew I should find a job soon.
The thing is I don't have any money with me right now. My dress, it's torn a little too. My jeans , covered in mud. If I'm atleast trying to get a job I should be presentable.
Again Who will give a job to a girl like me. I knew the chances are low but I should try. 'Never give up' mumma said. But sometimes it just gets tougher. It feels as if giving up is the only way.
I didn't know I was going to survive yesterday when I cut my hand. The universe wanted me to suffer more it seems.
I could go to my neighborhood and sneak in when my aunt and uncle would go out but it's all risky like yesterday. If only I could go freely and take all the money I earned from my last job before getting kicked out. I had roughly $1000 up in my savings stored inside my cupboard.
I need to wait until Monday to go to my home and get them. Since it's evening , my aunt and uncle would've been home long ago to enjoy their weekend together .
How can they be this heartless ? I ask myself everytime I remember what they did to me. I was a bitch , a girl who was abondaned by her own parents because she was never enough.
The ugly looking duckling. Voices inside my head started to moke me. I know I shouldn't be walking around this time as I came across a dark alley. The silence giving me shivers. I can hear some people laughing from the other end as I neared it.
I should quickly turn around and leave from there before they hear my footsteps. What if they are drunk? It seems luck wasn't on my side when I heard someone point at me as I stood there without knowing what to do.
They were walking towards me. 5 of them, I gasped as I recollected my thoughts.
'damn , what a pretty girl ! Catch her before she runs far' one of them said as they started to run after me. My long hair was pushed back by the wind as I started running towards where my life is taking me.
I should run . Nothing should happen to me. I don't want their hands on me touching me the way I didn't want. I can feel tears brimming on the edge of my eyes as I kept sprinting forward.
I turned to look around once, they were so close to me. I can feel myself tripping on a rock. I gasped as I fell. They were close ,so close .I should stand up , run .
My ankle was hurting so much. I must've sprained it but with difficulty I stood up. I took the stone that hurt me and threw it at the person behind me. His friends rushed to his side to hold his bleeding head.
I limped towards the main road where there were more people. Everyone were happy as I looked around . The workload off their shoulders as they look forward to a good weekend.
It seemed everyone were happy around me. It's just me and my head with my dull , gloomy and scary aura with me (that's what they describe me as) .
People kept a distance from I stood. Walking across me, giving me disgusted glances. Although I didn't lift up my head , I can feel the burns of the glares sent at me.
I whimpered from the pain of my ankle as I kept walking. The drunk people long gone away.
I tilted my head upwards to look at the street lights once. Oh how I wish to light up my own world like that . I can see some kid nearing me.
"Hii, I'm Madeline. I'm fwor" she said to me showing her 4 adorable chubby fingers.
I bent down to her level smiling as I reached down to pinch one of her chubby cheeks.
"What do you want lil girl?" I questioned her as I tucked her bangs behind her ear.
" Awe you otay? You sad" she asked me.
"No my little angel. I'm not " I said gulping down my sob at her words. It's been so long since someone asked me this genuinely about something.
"Now where are your parents? They must be worried for- " I was cut off by someone screaming "Maddie ."
Turning around I saw a woman , probably this angels mother coming towards her in full speed. She grabbed the little girls hand rather harshly and pulled her towards herself.
"Who are you? What are you doing with my daughter you weirdo ? Leave before I call the people for trying to kidnap my daughter" she said.
Ok. What the fuck ? Do I really look like someone who would do that. Tears welled up inside my eyes as I stood up and tried to walk forward with difficulty.
The young girl struggling in her mother's hold as she was scolding her to not run off somewhere or someone like me will kidnap her.
Keeping my head low again, walking ahead with no destination in my mind I reached a place. Under the bridge, many of the useless things are kept there. Somethings like me , abondoned and useless.
I sat down on the rocks with my legs inside the river. It seems this will be my home for the weekend.
