Forced Marriage.

11 Crappy friend

I gazed at the sly and even if I dont know much about astronomy or the stars it still calms me down. I have been having sleepless night since my mom told me about my birth situation. I freeze and stare with disgust and pain knowing that my mother went through all that. I sometimes hate my grandparents for not seeking justice for her though. All they were concerned about were their name and I guess it was because of my mother dignity because truth be told if the secret were out-out it would still be whispered around and the pain would have been too much for them and me as well.
I have been ignoring my friends since because I feel disgusted and I don't know how to tell them or if I should.
Can he be dead, I thought, is that all but if they were identical twins how could they tell who the rapist really is. I wrapped the blanket around my body tighter in other not to freeze, the weather has been chill this past few days. I sip my hot tea as I continue to stare at the sky. I still haven't seen Abel, he has been avoiding me well I have been avoiding him as well. I'm not ready to talk now.
I wake up before the alarm rings even with the drugs I push down my throat. It's so stressful being faithful to a man I don't even love. I removed my clothes and ironed them. I haven't unpacked yet because I'm not staying here for long.
I entered the class a little late and it was one of my most embarrassing moment because the lecturer noticed me which means every student did, some even glared at me. I mouthed sorry as I almost run in. Fortunately, I got a sit at the back without an hassle that's not with the murmuring though. You know those girls that dress the most, only come to class when they deem it important and manage to get straight A's anyways. I heard one of them murmur 'she got married because she got pregnant to an old man and her friend pitted her." I'm a little pained though because you'll think people would grow up and mind their own business but that's not true. They still gossip and carry fake rumour anyway. Going into a class that's already started was not the worst of my day neither was listening to the rumours about me. The worst part is having to explain why I've been ghosting my friends.
"Clara would you please wait up" I called 
"No, don't talk to me again." I held on to her hand as I caught up to her, " You ditched us on Saturday without any picking ang of our calls,we waited for you because you set the meeting, even your new friend came. You've totally changed now that you're married, this is the second time you're standing me up."
"I know..." she removed her hand and walked away without letting me talk.
Clara hated lateness or disappointment.
Her father never showed up so when we started talking she told me to tell her of I would not be available I  promised I'll try not too.
"I have a lot going on, Clara, it's not intentional."
"Yea, like going on a date without telling me, when I started going on with Simon I always tell you."
"It was not planned, I'm sorry."
"Of course it did, do you know that that's one of my Dad excuses and..." she waited a bit like she's thinking "...telling me that something more important came up." I entered the class before I realised that I've followed her into her lecture hall. I paused " Clara, I know what I did was crappy but you know it's not like me, I have a very good reason and I'll tell you but please tell Funke and let's meet this evening, okay, I'll bring Ife, please and say hi to Simon to me would you."
She blushed immediately as I mentioned his name. They are so in love that I'm happy they found each other. I knew that telling her to greet him would soften her . I smile back at her and realised that I'm a crappy friend using her affection for her boyfriend. Well beggars can't be choosers.
I made it to class before the lecture started and it went faster than I imagined. Worst part is I barely learnt anything. A different lecturer continued the class and I was lost half the time, well I was mostly always lost with the other lecturer as well.
One of the question I get asked often is why do I work, I'm not from a rich family but we are not poor and I still get pocket money even  if I've asked him to not send it to me again. I know he does it because of my mother. I work three times a week at a diner and I'm happy about it. Since I don't pay house rent anymore I've started having savings of my  own. I decided to call him because I want to hear his point of view.
"Good Evening," I called
"Why are you calling me, you better stay married," I hold back my comment and pain at his statement. I dont know how to ask him but I knew I have to do it one way or another, "please sir I want to know about  your twin brother?"
"Are you poking into my past girl, I'll advise you leave the past where it is it'll help No body, I'm your father by your birth certificate and my brother is dead that's all what you need to know." He hunged up on me as I stood by the road side confused.  Why do I feel like there is more to this story.
"He his not dead." Ife said.
"But, I was told that he his, Clara what do you think?"
"I don't know what to think"
"Maybe they still hurt, common they are identical twins for crying out loud. He might still grieving, I lost my uncle two years ago and we're not yet done  grieving." I dont fully understand but thinking back to my grandparents I guess there are still grieving.
"He was the bad sheep of the family, I heard that some family disown there child and tell people that he his dead and they  also believe it themself."
Maybe Ife his right but why would his twin brother do same but what if he his truly dead. I dont know what's true any more but I'll find the truth anyway.