THE MARGINALS

Little Mabel Red of Casa Loma

The 13 Diary Entries

DAY ONE

Dear God,

I'm not sure what is happening outside my window right now but I have a terrible feeling about it. I just looked outside and there was this white heap outside the Power Plant. It looks kind of like a pile of feathers but I know it's a dead rabbit. I can just tell. It's not moving. Not sleeping. I just know it's not even breathing. You know? God, you must know!! I mean you know everything, right?
Ugh! I don't even know why I'm writing this to you. You don't even exist. At least that's what Momma says. But she's a Monster. "Humans created their Gods" she'd say, "so they could get away with murder and only feel guilty about going to hell AFTER they died! Ha! What a ruse! At least us monsters are accountable to what we do in the 'here and now'. If we believed in magic or an 'afterlife' we would be insufferable; vain and power hungry. We just choose to live responsibly and create our own happiness or we choose to suffer the consequences. That's why we created a Justice System: to keep things straight and narrow! Not silly human magic and sorcery! Ha!"
But I secretly disagreed with Momma. I don't know  why exactly. Maybe just a deep feeling, but I figure, if you do exist God I might feel better with that possibility. So, maybe I am more human than Monster. I dunno.

But I'm still scared that dead rabbit is gonna bring more bad news. And I can't bear that right now. Momma I miss you. Why did you leave without saying Goodbye?

DAY TWO

Dear God,

Jimmy Haywire, Ms Haywire's annoying son, is an ass. Ms Haywire may be my Grade Six school teacher, but making her own son the teacher's pet ? That is so wrong! Plus, he was so mean to me today. And I couldn't tell anyone. Especially not the teacher because ... SHE'S his mother!!! Good Grief!

God? Why are children so mean to each other? I mean, Jimmy shouted at me for no good reason. He just kept pointing his hairy knobbly finger at me and laughing his hyena laugh. Holding his belly as it convulsed. What was so funny? My hair!? My nose? My body? My toes? What now?!?What was it this time?

Still thinking about that dead rabbit. No one has removed it and it appears to still be dead.

DAY THREE

Dear God,

The rabbit is gone. Finally! I think maybe the Monster Garbage Removal  Guys dropped by and cleaned it up. I looked up rabbits in a symbolism book at the library and found out some weird stuff. Supposedly Rabbits represent a link to the Moon and Spirituality. God? Did you hear that? That means maybe YOU! Rabbits symbolize life (you) and sensitivity and new beginnings(again, you) and get this: good luck! (not sure if that is more me than you but still...) Well, that can't be right. I mean I don't think I feel very lucky right now and I know for a fact that that rabbit was NOT very lucky, was he? He was DEAD.  Maybe I should look up 'dead rabbits' in symbology next. I dunno.

Jimmy was sick today,  so no teasing. I never miss him when he's away. But Ms Haywire always mentions his name so I guess in some ways it's better when he is around because then at least she doesn't say his name, like,  a thousand million times.  " My lil'Jimmy sweetheart -this" and "My lil' sweetheart Jimmy -that"  SO boring. I can't wait until I graduate from this Grade Six.

There's something moving outside in the dark. I can feel it in my bones...

DAY FOUR

Dear God,

I'm sorry but I'm super terrified right now. I know, I know...it seems like  all I write about are my fears and insecurities but really God? Can you complain? That is what you're there for, no? To be a good listener? I mean, if you started talking back to me ...now, that would just freak both of us right out, right?  Anyway, today I saw a dead pidgin (spelling? I will look it up in school tomorrow) It is in the exact same spot as that poor rabbit. THE. EXACT. SAME. SPOT. So... what is THAT all about? God, please send me a message about this...somehow?