I Want You So Much (But I Hate Your Guts)

Chapter 3

Louis awoke on Saturday morning with a racing heart and a heavy sigh. It was while he was still blinking his eyes open, lazily thinking about the day ahead and the stuff he had to get done, that he realised attending a football team party meant that he would have to face Harry. That probably should have been obvious to him from the very start, shouldn't it, what with Harry being the team captain and all. Funnily enough, it hadn't come to his mind before, but it was so thoroughly hitting him now that he groaned out aloud, just as if the weight of the world had just settled atop his shoulders.

He really hadn't planned on seeing Harry this weekend, grateful to get two days of quiet to himself to rebuild his self-esteem. But alas! It was unbelievable.

Although he was feeling energised and refreshed from a good nights sleep, he still had trouble getting out of bed. Niall had decided, upon hearing the news of the party invitation, that they would get drunk on Saturday instead of Friday, so they had spent the previous evening at The Kings Arms with a pint each, both refraining from ordering shots or fancy long-drinks. It was still nice, of course. They got to really talk, had a good few laughs and hyped each other up about the first uni party they would attend together.

Now, the distressing thought that he would see Harry again this evening already was enough to chain Louis to his bed. Maybe he should text Niall, find some bullshit excuse and make his dodging out up to him sometime next week. Louis scrunched up his nose in distaste just thinking about it. No, he couldn't do that; wouldn't do that. He wouldn't, because that was his chance to get to know the other members of the team better, to meet new people, to forge new friendships. He needed this. He was part of the team — he deserved to be there just as much as everyone else and he wouldn't let Harry spoil his fun, god damn it! Harry wasn't the centre of the universe and Louis really should begin to fucking remember that.

He gave himself a silent pep talk, something he wouldn't admit to anyone, and pushed the covers away to start his day with a hot shower. It was a joggers kind of morning, since he would spent it solely catching up on all his living-alone-duties. First laundry and room cleaning, then a quick trip to the store and a bit of course work in the afternoon. This evening's party really was something to look forward to after all, like a kind of reward for being a good, diligent adult. Louis would make the most of it, starting with banning every thought of Harry strictly from his mind.

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Turns out the washing machines in the dorm house weren't all that hard to operate. The only thing he did wonder was where all his dirty clothes even came from. Had he really worn so much shit in two short weeks?

He headed out to the shops while the machine was running and loaded up his cart with too much junk food, missing out entirely on fresh vegetables. It was weird how, stereotypically, Omegas were the homemakers, the ones who cooked and baked and washed and cared for the kids, but here Louis was, being the biggest disappointment to his entire gender, unable to even properly cook a spaghetti sauce that afforded more work than emptying a jar in a pot and heating it up. He was pretty sure nature fucked up while creating him, honestly. So much about him just didn't fit. He had been supposed to become a Beta, that much was clear to him, but something went wrong and now here he was, scraping up every spare bit of money to afford his stupidly expensive extra-strong-and-concealing suppressants, just because someone in the universe had failed to do their job right. Yeay for nature!

His dorm was actually quickly cleaned, because it turned out that cramped living space resulted in less space to hoover, mop and dust off. There was a perk to this after all, then.

It also resulted in him having more time at his hands and procrastinating course work, because there still was time. But instead of watching only one episode of Grey's Anatomy, like he originally planned to, he ended up watching three, which lead to more than two bygone hours. He could have read a good part of Sense and Sensibility in that time for his English Lit lecture on Tuesday and for a moment he felt alternatively like crying or hitting his head against the closest wall. Lastly, he just decided to figure out a topic for his History term paper and read up on the French Revolution, since that was the topic of his Wednesday morning seminar.