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i used to scream with you because it was the only way i could vocalise the lights going off inside of me. i wish i could feel what i did, but now i only flinch, because now i'm so disconnected, the loud shots feel unfamiliar. the perspiration lingering on my neck is no longer due to the way you made me flustered. it's fear. because now i know nothing's impossible, and what i'm thinking could always be true. is accidental manifestation a thing? thinking about something so often it threads through to reality? certainly fucking hope not; though fate almost never seems to be on my side.
