THE APPRENTICE II

40

Heskit and Hazel sat on the floor in a butterfly position, parallel to one another. The prince had been introducing the basics of mysticism for a few minutes now. They were taking longer than usual due to her endless questions. She was ranting about the inconsistencies of the system while he rested his elbow on his lap and held his temple with his fingers.

"Hazel, do you want to know what your issue is?" He finally interrupted her. Talking felt like he could finally breathe again. She stopped and showed her palms while pursing her lips. "You think too much. You've already been trained in the mystic arts, which means you aren't new to magic. I'm sure you'll progress just fine. However, this isn't sorcery, so stop treating it like it is,"

"But it just...it's impossible to not think. You can't not use your head, even emotions are brain activity— it's basic neuroscience. I'm simply trying to understand, to rationalize this,"

"Feelings aren't rational." He boosted himself closer by dragging himself across the stone floors. "You shouldn't rationalize your feelings, because if you expect all of them to be reasonable, then you'll end up...invalidating them. All your emotions, positive or negative, serve a purpose. Your anger is on your side, just as much as your happiness is. After feeling them, naming them, ask yourself what this emotion wants from you."

Hazel frowned and nodded slowly, taken aback. He surprisingly has a lot of emotional intelligence— maybe even more than her! Not thinking her feelings out, but instead, just feeling them sounds...corny. She doesn't have time for those things. If a sorcerer like her gets too emotionally involved, it'll interfere with her work flow. Not to mention, she has that one condition that's triggered by her emotions. She opened her eyes for one more question.

"What if...feeling hurts you?" She hesitated. Heskit opened his eyes and they flashed with sympathy. His lips turned into a gentle smile.

"Well, they'll only make you stronger." He responded and clasped his hands together. She pressed her lips into a tight grin and nodded slowly.

"Yeah, sorry— I mean, that's cool and all of that, super true, totally agree, but like...what if they end up actually killing you?"

He furrowed his brows at this suspiciously. She dragged her bottom away from him to distance herself. She avoided his gaze which felt like it was staring daggers into her soul. Was she overreacting? Is this a metaphor, or is there some truth behind it? Maybe it's something sorcerers go through.

"How do you mean?,"

"I just wanna know how to feel them without letting them take over," She avoided the question and inquired

"Well, that is an emotion: fear. It's just you trying not to get hurt, it isn't a negative thing." He explained while brushing her statement off. He inched closer after observing the distance between them. "After naming them, know that they're yours. You are in control."

If he only knew how much her emotions control her.

"Okay, cool. I'll try that out and be right back." She nodded and summoned the mirror dimension.

She did exactly that while Heskit tilted his head at her disappearance. He paid attention to the sheen of the dimension's fragments and realized she had some kind of forcefield up. How and why is she so terrified of her emotions? She's literally hiding them from everyone around her. People from earth are so emotionally inept— ever since the mystics left, so much of humanity had lost touch with its sentimental side.

In the dimension, she started with the surface emotion that was most accessible: fear. She's afraid of her emotions, because they're going to kill her. What's happening inside also makes her scared. What if she's a monster? What if everyone turns on her? She's going to lose Stephen and herself.