𝑆𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒 || EDITING

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 5 || 𝑀𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔

"We're here honey!!" My mother exclaimed like a child. Giggling at the thought of her meeting her so called boyfriend which I don't know why she should be that happy that much. Like duh?? That person was still a person, nothing more. She acted like a lovesick teenager, a total weird woman. Just by me thinking about that, them acting so lovey dovey gives me goosebumps.

"Honey, are you there?" my mom snapped at my thoughts as I stated to her blankly. "Of course I'm here, who would you be talking to if I wasn't here??" I asked with a scowl visible on my face as I kept staring at her blankly and coldly.

She's so beautiful, I admit it. Too bad I'm not the type of person to base what's their beauty outside, I more preferred their true attitudes. And that's my reason why I'm cold toward her. Like btch, I was just a mere child that time when she sent me away. At first I thought, she's just working. But me growing up helps me realize that she leaves me there, alone by myself. I know no one there. They might be blood related to me but heck, they were all the same. I am treated as a stranger. A mother leaving her own blood and flesh. That was beyond my expectations.

"Honey for once please respect me" my mom's statement caught me off guard. Well, I never thought of her talking back. Yes, she's kind to everyone but bitch my itching ass, not to me. Her own daughter.

If she really loves me as a daughter she'll understand me. I begged her not to go and leave me to those relatives of mine who just know how to beat the living hell of mine. She doesn't know me at all. Me, experiencing how to suffer in guilt, sadness and fear.

Me being alone in the darkness when someone murdered my friend right in front of my eyes.

"There's a big difference between the word respect and honesty. Mom, I'm just stating the fact, I hate to lie if you know that opps I doubt it, you?? Remembering something?? I might sob my ass here all day if that day comes. And yeah, respect?? Mom, you have my respect which I couldn't have in return" a sarcastic smile appeared on my face as I forced myself to focus on the sight right in front of my eyes.

A heard nothing in return, good. Finally she decided to shut up and just lead us where the fvcking fvck we're going.

"O-okay"

My attention snaps at her tone. I looked at her direction just to see a tear slip down to her face as she quickly wiped it for me not to notice but yeah I already saw it. She flashed a warm smile to me, so warm that I wanted to go to her embrace to hug her and tell her all my problems. To whine like a child. Me, blaming her why she left me there while hiding my face in the crook of her head. But yeah

That's what you call stupidness :))

My heart sank from the deepest part, good job Manahil. Her breathing heavily as she looks up, trying to stop the tears to flow down as I watch her blankly. My guiltiness is eating me but I'm too stubborn to accept the fact that after all she's innocent. She doesn't know a thing about me. Ugh!! "I'm sorry my daughter, I couldn't give you what you wanted and needed, I just wanted to give the best to you"

Yeah you're right and it came worse though. Please, just please stop apologizing. I might end up hating you. Which I'm not going to do.

I clean my fist, knuckles turning white as I control my breathing. There's nothing wrong Manahil,it's not your fault, it's her fault.

No btch no it's yours. Okay, come on Manahil!! Stop ranting and just let it pass, I can't accept it though.

"I'll do everything for you to give a chance to be a mother to you, I'll do everything just please, please don't leave" she begged. The last three words were like a mere whisper which I gladly heard, and now sinking in my head. "Honey-"