Memories {Dazai Fanfict}

Chapter one

The wind felt nice. The wind? The heavy wind that moves the fluffy clouds, spoted in the grayish sky, everyone wanted to lay down on as a kid. The wind that rattled through my dark clothes and spread my black-red hair into the air. The wind that gave me goosebumps due its coldness. The wind that was filled with toxic gases that slowly kills our world.

Our world? The word we live in. The world we desperately not want to leave. The world we hate so much. The world that wants to kill us. The world we're about to kill. 

Kill. Kill? I doubt those people down there on the road, minding their business thinking the world is doing fine, knows how big this word is, even though they already spoken it out several times. How much I hated this word. How much hate this word carries. As power.

My headphones loudly drummed slow music into my sensitive ears, trying to seal away the noises from outside. The noises which were filled with murder and detest. And a little bit love, which unfortunately didn't cancel out the hatred. 

My black eyes wandered to the green sea mirroring the buildings humanity build, not knowing they will fall. Fall into the beautiful water, they already polluted centuries ago.

I blinked. My eyes were dry. I blinked again, but this time forced. Dry and tired, that's what they were. I was tired, since I worked hard for my job, trying not to lose it. Not losing it by killing people. Ha, how ironical. 

My lids fell, consequently I now starred into a never-ending darkness. A black see reflecting my eyes. My eyes that reminded me of death. The death I should fear, I should run away of. However, I am not. I already saw it so many times, so why should I fear it? Wait, you already saw it?

I continued starring into the pitch-black hole, running through all the thoughts wandering into my head. My head which was empty. Empty till the day I woke up, surrounded by people I didn't know. 

They were all dressed up in black fancy suits, with a thin layer of dusk and blood on it. Some of them were ripped so I was able to see the skin and blood underneath it, which made me feel uncomfortable. The poor clothes. They won't be able to wear them again.

Some eyes staring down on me were filled with tears, as was the face of a tiny man with orange long hair which was caring a black hat.

Soft tears were rolling down their pink and pale cheeks, as their eyes widened and their mouths began to smile, seeing me slowly sitting up straight, leaning on my right hand.

There were faces around mine, older man and younger women, I didn't recognize. But I knew, one was missing. You did?

My eyes sprang open and the music I enjoyed slowly disappeared. My ears filtered it out, as if it wanted to make me aware of something. Something crucial. Something I needed to handle now. And I knew what it was.

Akutagawa.

The black-white haired prince full of trauma and hatred, wrapped in a long black coat, essential for the use of his ability. His ability to kill people in a spectacular way. A spectacular brutal way.

I sighed as the CO2 left my mouth, searching for a plant to transform it into 02, we consume to live. So much to our world wanting to kill us.

I chuckled with the image in my head of the earth begging us not to leave, bribing us with recurses and air to breath, we decided to destroy.

I snatched my thoughts that were drifting away and put them back into the reality. The reality in which Akutagawa needs help and my free time I desperately needed vanishes into nothingness.

I knew this is physically impossible, but there are people controlling blood, so let's just ignore that.

With my hand I pushed myself up, landing on my feet stuck in red boots, which kind of hurt. My balance got suffocated due to my fast upstanding, which leaded to my tumble.