Jack Of All Trades ✓ | steampunk, dragons, trickery

Chapter 14.1: Literally Swallowed His Dignity

"You cheat!" Jack spat dirt from his mouth. He was on the ground. Both wrists held by Espin who also kept him down with his tail wrapped around Jack's legs and his foot was on Jack's back.

"You cheating lizard dungshit!"

Espin laughed. "You're too big for your breaches, little boy. That's the fighting of a ragamuffin. A peasant thief. A thug. And that's the only kind of opponents you've been fighting with." He pushed his boot harder in Jack's back. "And I'm not that."

How did that even happen? Jack could not believe it. He'd lost to a lizard man. Utterly beat. It was so fast. He didn't even see the tail coming while his eyes were peeled on his opponent. Shame burned his cheeks. His dignity crushed.

When Espin finally let him go, his newly created outfit dissolved and the purple magick of Spinel left Jack and slipped into Espin's palm. Jack's magick in his chest burned as if it were angry at him.

"I told you, you have to be trained and I have to approve of it. Obviously, you're not ready." Espin chuckled. "How shameful."

Jack got up from the ground. He was covered in dirt and some of the soil had been damp, seeping into his clothes. Sneezing, he hugged himself, rubbing his hands up and down his arms to try to keep warm. It started to rain. Espin's hair grew out long behind him and his outfit changed into a black robe with golden embroidery all over it.

"Jack of all trades," he sang, "but master of none."

He couldn't let that stupid dragon fairy get away with this.

"I demand a rematch! That was cheating." Jack gritted his teeth that began to chatter.

It was fast. Espin was up in his face and pushed Jack over, making him fall on his back. "You cheat all the time. Hypocrite. I can see your memories. I know all about you." Then he turned and walked away. 

Jack let the rain fall on him knowing that it was probably not the best thing to do considering it could be toxic. He wasn't as much angry as he was shocked. Shocked that he had lost in a fight for the first time since finishing training as Knave Diamondo.

In the second-floor window, he spotted Gray. The curtains slipped closed.

Dungs and apples. His face burned with shame at having been seen like this. Gray's opinion didn't matter. It really didn't. But image was important to Jack and today just seemed like a day where nothing was in his control.

Picking himself up from the ground, he went inside. Gray was there with towels and took him to the bath.

The tub was small but big enough for a grown man. As the steam filled the room, Jack got undressed and looked at himself in the mirror. Scars upon scars etched across his body. At least they were in places he could hide. And there was a new bruise on his forehead where Espin knocked his head.

"That rockhead." Jack rubbed his chin that never grew even a hint of stubble no matter what he tried. He made a muscle on one arm and then the other. Wasn't he strong enough? He had thought he was more fit than Espin. Espin was so lean, and Jack had always been keeping his strength up. What was it that he was missing? Why did he lose?

It wasn't the tail. I'd already decided the outcome and didn't doubt it when things went south. I should have. And it didn't even matter tail or not. He was so focused on the no-doubt successful outcome that he wasn't fully paying attention to twists and turns in the fight. Never once, in fact, did he ever pay attention because he knew he would always win.

He climbed into the tub, wincing as the warm water touched fresh scratches that might heal or turn to scars. Now that he'd lost in a fight, he didn't know who Jack Ovaultrades was anymore. He couldn't be Knave Diamondo in a fight. If didn't work once, it wouldn't work again because he'd always have that loss in his mind.

Or always have the win. Which distracts me and then I would lose. Jack pursed his lips and sunk deeper into the water. At least I'm smart enough to realize I'm always delusional.

So, who was Jack Ovaultrades?

"Master of none. But better than master of one. Really?" He grabbed the bar soap and lathered himself up, washing his face and body clean of dirt. In that moment of no thoughts invading his mind, Jack thought of Eli. She had said he was kind, but in a weird way.

"To admit to kindness is weakness," he said the motto he was taught during training as a knave. So, he wasn't going to be kind. Oh no. But Jack couldn't not be of service to people. Was that something he was born with? Some royalty trait? Work for the peasants?

Sighing, he rinsed off and stepped out of the bath. He didn't know who he was quite yet, but he knew where to find the answer. But in order to get the answer, he would have to save her first.

But before that, I have to work with that damned dragon fairy who hates me. Jack put on the bathrobe and lifted his gaze to the mirror. Then, he ran the water and put some in his mouth.

This is my pride. He told himself, swishing the water around in his mouth. And my dignity.

He thought about Eli and Jett, but especially Eli. She was different and she was right. He never hid himself from her, because somewhere in his mind he trusted her. He trusted that this girl would accept him no matter what he did.

The next thing he did was the hardest thing he had done yet.

Jack swallowed his pride and dignity with shame burning his cheeks. He was embarrassed for himself for acting the way he had for so many years toward so many people. He was embarrassed for Eli for having to see him at his so-called proud moments. Most of all, he was ashamed that he thought he couldn't just embrace who he truly was. 

Jack stood there in front of the mirror, watching as the blush deepened. How ridiculous he looked. And the bathrobe was much too large for him, making him look like he had been consumed by a marshmallow.

"I'm selfish," he began, "arrogant, delusional, and a narcissist. Dungshit, I hurt her." He couldn't even imagine what Eli must be feeling now if her mind was still there in her dragon's body. Jack had run away. She probably felt betrayed. She might not even forgive him.

"It's my fault," he said out loud and his voice cracked. He never wanted to admit, he realized, that he was just acting like a surface man. He thought going deep would hurt him, because at a moment of deep friendship, he was hurt.

I admit, okay, fine. Fine! He fished for his knife and cut his palm. Letting the blood drip into the sink for a moment, he imagined that all the lies were running out of him. The boy that was hurt, that little twelve-year-old, he had been hiding inside, afraid to be hurt again.

After he wrapped his hand in a towel to stop the blood, he closed his eyes and searched his heart for the first time in a long time to find what made him who he was. He cared about people and wanted to help in whatever way he could. Eli, Jett, Marjorie, and the poor in Hobbersmead no matter what they thought of him now.

Jack smirked as he thought of how he tried to impress Eli showing off his art of deception.

Art of distraction, she'd said. He chuckled. He'd been too embarrassed to acknowledge that he had always thought the phrase was 'art of deception'. In that same train of thought he realized he couldn't completely throw away arrogance. Maybe he could tone it down a tad though and stop saying 'I'm Jack of all trades' so many times. She probably got it by now, anyway.

Feeling for the edge of the tub, he sat down with his eyes still closed. He knew he was smart. Learning came easy to him. He enjoyed it, too.

His heart cracked when he thought of Simon who had taught him the ins and outs of owning an art gallery and helped him become successful. Jack loved art. That wasn't a lie. That was him. Did Simon ever know that? Jack bit his lip, but he didn't let himself dwell on it now.

Letting his breath come slowly, in and out, Jack cleared his mind of all the lies he told himself and all the lies he told others. To kill the Enchantress, he had to be truly himself and not some fraud he created. Not some personas, or a lie—Jack gritted his teeth, ashamed that it took losing everything and hurting everyone around him to realize the world he created for himself was only a mirage. Now that it shattered, it was time for change.

The door burst open. 

"Jack!"