(aet)her('s) gaze, they linger (mlm)

Chapter - my (d)ev1l

I have been unmoving, like a bejeweled ring on the floor of what may seem an endless sea, one that hasn't reflected the warmth of the sun, or the feeling of being purposeful from being used by its owner, instead, I only have been static, waiting for the end of time or to be somehow picked up again.

Two thousand years, a period of time where you could do anything and everything that your heart so desired, enough time to witness it all, from the rise and fall of humankind to the evolution and regression of a world you once knew,

but I only spent all of those time in contemplation, denial, and anger.

For years I wept, salting the waters of this realm, wondering about my past as my future becomes darker and darker, a truth that I have long accepted to be, an awareness that has tortured me for most of my waking hour.

There's not much I can do, not much I can change, so I gave it all up to him, I surrendered.

I don't remember much, the once precious memories I held onto for dear life most became eroded because of time, one that I spent a lot of being eaten by my fears, my guilt, and my delusions of my actions,

Stained by false ones gifted by my captor, in these times I only have been reminiscing them, trying to discern which was true, trying to relieve them to the best of my abilities so I won't forget them for they're the only true thing I own.

Sometimes I can hear a faint voice in my head, not of my own as it would only demean me, instead, its soft spoken and comforting, words that I don't recognize would flow through their mouth like lyrical poetry that somehow makes my heart swell and ghostly touches would litter across my skin.

At first, I thought this was an illusion of my captor, but they have never treated me that carefully, his scaled skin on mine only makes me shiver.

I know I have loved someone before I ended up here, I may have only been young then, but I can't shake my intuition.

I can see visions of our shared experiences together, all somehow being meaningful and heart-aching despite not me knowing anything about them anymore, I can't make out their temperance or their voice that only speaks in gibberish, their face was only a blank of white to me,

but I remember the smell of lavender lingered on them, a flower that I try my hardest to not forget the name of for I already forgot what it looked like.

I don't know why I even bother yearning, but sometimes I still hope that I get to re-experience and rediscover these things that I have lost touch with.

I regret taking the small and simple events and objects in my life for granted.

"If only I could turn back time, id still be with you Dylan"