A Side Order of Fate

Chapter 1

Conrad

The water looked deep and inviting. Conrad Leden stared into the ferocious blue waves and thought about how easy it would be to just jump into it. To let the waves drown his pain and suffering. To crawl into the wicked embrace of the ocean and never turn back. To let it hold him captive, forever.  

The one thing he had cared about, loved even, had been ripped from him. He could not forgive himself for that.  

And he knew it was his own fault, he would not play the blame game. Conrad was sure that it should have been him in the car, without a doubt. Marie was supposed to stay home and have dinner with the loving family that he didn't have. He was supposed to have taken his shift as pizza delivery guy, not slunk off to some sleazy club just because drinks were free if you came early enough. Oh dear, sweet Marie.  

I've killed you! 

She wouldn't have been dead now if it weren't for him.  

Conrad, he thought to himself, you're a jerk and an idiot. You're just a killer. Plain and simple. 

But it wasn't, and he knew it.  

Everyone at the funeral told him that it wasn't his fault, there was nothing he could've done. They all said that maybe it was her time to die.  

She was so young, they said, so beautiful. It was a shame she died so young, she had her whole life ahead of her, they said. The standard response at a funeral. Nothing could have made him more angry... Or more desperate to get her back.  

Even 'I'm sorry' had started to sound more fake than the Conrad that had been at the funeral. He wasn't the real Conrad. The real Conrad wasn't an angry person, he wasn't someone who cried. The happy Conrad, the one he'd known all his life was gone. In his place, a desparate, guilty Conrad who broke someones nose just because he couldn't take one more 'I'm sorry.'  

Even that Conrad would be gone soon. But this time, there would be no more to take his place. 

Conrad stared out at the ocean and gripped his hands tightly around the cold metal bar of the huge bridge. Cars passed behind him, sweeping the hair that had grown out over the past two months from his face and tossing it around. Behind him, life moved on like it always did, no one caring, no one noticing anything but their busy and frantic lives.  

He shuddered, his ratty coat not enough to keep the chill of the crisp autumn day from his bones. The shoes on his feet were scuffed and didn't fit, a hole beginning to form where his big toe pushed through the shoe. He wasn't poor, he just didn't have the heart to buy anything new. It had become like a second skin to him. When Marie was still around, she always needed something new. And without hesitation, he spent the money he made from delivering pizza, on her. It never really occurred to him to buy something for himself.  

Dragging his thoughts back to the task at hand, Conrad looked out at the water. He felt a deep connection with the beckoning ocean. It told him that he could get rid of his pain and anger and join those that had passed. He only wanted Marie, though, he didn't need anyone else. And he knew that the wanting of her would not make her come back to him, so he was sure that this was the only way. He could have a better life; with Marie. He didn't want a life filled with busy people, and insignificant trifles. Like yesterday, when he saw two old ladies bargaining with the man at the fast food place because they wanted a deal on chicken wings.  

Who wanted to live in a world like that? Conrad sure didn't. That was why he wanted to jump. To let go of the guardrails and take a leap of faith. Because he knew that the water would catch him and carry him to Marie.  

After five long minutes, he made his choice. Clenching the rough bar in his hands, he pulled himself up so that he was sitting on the guardrail, his feet dangling over the ledge.  

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, he wiped all thoughts of doubt clean from his mind and slowly counted to five.  

One... Two... Three... 

"Hey! What are you doing? Get down from there before you kill yourself!" 

Well that was kind of the point...  

He sent the water a stern glare and promised that he would return to its welcoming arms. He slowly turned on his perch so that his legs were dangling on the inside of the guardrail. A petite girl, maybe a year younger stared at him, a look of fear evident in her pretty blue eyes. "I don't know who you are, but I want to help you. There's no reason, no matter how bad you think the pain is, to attempt to take your own life."  

Something in her musical voice told Conrad that she knew exactly what she was talking about. Maybe she'd even been in his shoes. Her eyes begged him to come down from the guardrail and her hands were partly stretched towards him.  

But that didn't stop him, and a red hot fury shot through him like a lightning bolt. "You could never understand what I'm going through right now." Conrad hissed angrily, "I killed her! For gods sake, I killed her!"  

She winced away from the spite but walked towards him anyway. Conrad recognized the look of determinition on her small face. His own had mirrored it everyday for the past three months, when he lied to himself that he could get through the day.  

Holding her hands out, palms facing the stormy grey sky, she stared into his eyes, silently pleading him to come down. The blue in her eyes, now that she was closer, reminded Conrad of the water. They looked warm and inviting with a hint of tumultuous pain laced underneath. Her beautiful eyes glanced off his own stormy grey ones and they thawed through the cold stone, persuading him to come down from the ledge.  

Slowly, so as not to startle him, she put her soft hands in his rough pair and gently slid him to the ground. "I'm Ella." She said, tugging him back towards the busy street. "And you look like you could use a friend."

~~~

So hi! My last attempt at writing something and posting it failed. It was called The Captain's Daughter and... I absolutely hated it. So I removed it. :D

So here I am with something that I think might actually go somewhere and something that I will not get bored of! Nothing mystical or magical or, sadly no sexy pirates. But that is okayy! Cause now I can write something I actually have always wanted to. A romance! So let me know your thoughts, good or bad, I am completly open to criticism but you know, a girl could use a compliment here and there. ;)

Smile on, Emmy :)