Her Sanity

42

Allison POV

It's been about a month that I'm back and I'm honestly not sure if I'm happy that I'm back. If I could be anywhere else or maybe just out of this world then just maybe that will be better.

Everyone is happy that I'm back home but I'm not sure if I am. I think I'm doing a pretty good job at hiding everything with a fake small smile or laugh.

I really don't know how to feel about Leone and I. I really don't want to believe anything but the pictures are there, the proof is right there. But they both have lied to me so I don't know who to believe.

I haven't been talking to Leone or even looking at her. I have been talking to everyone else but her. I can't talk or look at her because if I do then I feel like I'll break down and cry. I feel that all I'll see is betrayal, hurt, hatred and pain from the person I love. I can't look in the eyes I've grown to love because I feel like I won't recognize them anymore.

I know I've been acting a certain way with her and she's trying to pretend that she isn't hurt but I know she is. I've spent so much time with Leone that I can now read her like a book unless she refuses to let me.

"You need to talk to her. Tell her what's wrong because we can see that she's trying" Jade said

The girls have been staying here since I got back. Leone's house is big enough and she doesn't have a problem with them being here. I think she wants me happy so she's doing everything she can and she knows my best friends make me happy.

I had told the girls everything that happened. They were so angry when they found out it was my mom. I think they wanted to kill her themselves.

I want to talk to Leone about what I know. I want her truth because I feel like she won't lie me but in all honesty I don't know what to believe anymore.

I also know that she's trying as well. No matter how many times I've told her to leave me she still doesn't. She still makes sure I'm okay. She still makes sure I eat and get enough sleep. I know this because every night she comes to check on me and give me kisses on the forehead but I just lay there pretending I'm asleep.

"Right I know you are hurting but you are hurting her as well and I think you know it, especially with you not talking to her and the thing at the party with you bringing that person." Kylie said

I'm more than hurting, I'm so broken that I'm beyond repairing. I don't think I'll go back to the way I was before. My mother and my lover has broken me beyond repair.

I know that Leone is well, I feel like I'm reflecting my pain and hurt on her so she can feel how I'm feeling. I just don't understand how she would hide something like that from. I know it would be hard to tell me but she could have tried.

The thing at the party I was actually getting her hurt or mad so she could leave because I know if she didn't then she would hurt Jay. The way how Jay was talking and the way Leone was looking at her and stepping closer to her, I know Leone was seconds away from putting a bullet through her head.

I didn't want that, I know the type of person Leone is and she doesn't take disrespect lightly. I know she was hurt by me telling her to leave but I think it was for the best.

With Jay I was mentally shaking my head because she was signing her own death wish. I had met her one day at the food court in the mall when I was out getting some alone time and clearing my head.

Ever since I met Jay we have been talking but trust and believe she has nothing on Leone nothing at all. I have no feelings whatsoever towards Jay because Leone is the one that has my heart, Leone is the is the one that I want. No one can compete with Leone.