Cookies, Lies and Remorse | The Orville

Chapter 1

A/N: I know I said I'll write another fanfic of The Orville again when season 3 comes out. Here's the thing, I decided to write this one shot as I've been wanting to for two years, based on a comment I saw on Instagram where someone mentioned that it would be interesting if Cassius teaches Ed how to make cookies, his especially. So yeah, if you enjoyed this fanfic, feel free to leave a review, vote and follow. Thanks! ❤️

"Oh my god, these are so good." Ed said, as he was eating his cookie after another. He was that much of a cookie monster that it made him hungry for another cookie. Seriously, Cassius. You need to make more of these. He said to himself, eating another.

"Ed?" Cassius piped in, surprised to see Ed with the cookie bouquet.

"Oh, Cassius! I was just making sure the cookies are warm. Gotta protect them from the cold!" He smiled.

"There are crumbs on the floor." He told him.

"Oh." He looked down.

"Are those Kelly's cookies???" He said, freaked out by the fact Ed was eating them. "They are indeed hers! Why did you steal them!" He shouted.

"I–" Ed was about to say but Cassius stopped him mid sentence.

"You're so horrible! I made these for Kelly specifically and you choose to steal her cookies!" He screamed.

"So what? Cassius, you can make them again. It's not a huge deal." He assured him, placing his hand on his shoulder.

"Ed, these came from my heart!" He growled.

"Didn't think you had one." Ed joked as he nibbled on another cookie and Cassius took it from his hand and the bouquet as well. "My cookies!" He exclaimed.

"No, Ed! These belong to Kelly. For now on, get your own and don't be a greedy asshole!" He shouted and left. Ed went to the bridge and sat down, looking at his pad, not saying anything. He wanted to be alone, since he was feeling remorseful for what he did.

"Captain, are you feeling alright? You haven't said a word." Bortus asked him.

"Huh? I was busy looking at something." He told him. Kelly showed up and didn't say anything to Ed. He saw her and sighed quietly.

"Hi, Ed. I need a word with you." She said to him.

"Look, Kelly. I am so sorry for eating the cookies and lying to Cassius. I didn't mean to, I just hoped he wouldn't find out I took them. Or as he liked to add, how I 'stole' them." He explained to her.

"What?" She said surprised.

"I just told you what happened in exactly as it is being told truthfully." He laughed nervously.

"You're so unbelievable. I was trying to tell you that Cassius wants us back together but I don't want that." She explained. Ed got up and went to the synthesizer. "Where the fuck are you going?" She screeched.

"Getting another cookie. I'm very hungry right now." He smiled.

"Ed, for the love of god. If you want one so badly, ask Cassius. It's easier than synthesizing one that probably doesn't taste the same." She sighed.

"Why don't you ask him?" Ed said calmly.

"No!!!" Kelly shouted.

"Okay." He raised his hands, walking away. She rolled her eyes at him, clearly annoyed by him and his childish antics right now. Ed went to Cassius's quarters and found him there.

He smiled at the ingredients and his mouth was watering at the moment currently. He was that desperate for another cookie and his stomach growled loudly.

"Ed, what are you doing?" Cassius asked, not pleased to see him.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for lying to you. These cookies you made are good. I was thinking if you can make them and I can watch. You can even send me the recipe." Ed pleaded.

"Only if you promise not to lie to me again." He said, holding his hand out.

"Deal." He agreed as he shook his hand with his. They made the cookies together and once they were baked and cooled off, Ed took a bite out of them and grinned hugely. "These are so good! Cassius, you should've been a baker instead of a teacher." Ed said with his mouth full and swallowed his piece.

"You think so?" Cassius smiled.

"Of course, buddy! Oh my friggen god. You are officially now The Orville's head baker!" Ed hugged him. Cassius couldn't stop but laugh at the fact he said this. Especially since a few months ago, he hated him and Kelly together, now they are bonding and getting along so much better. "Cassius, given you and Kelly broke up. Can we still be friends? I really like you and not in a romantic way. I mean it as friends." Ed smiled.

"I would be honored to be still friends with you. But only on one condition. No lying to my face and no stealing the cookies from anyone in the ship." Cassius nodded.

"You got it!" He grinned again, drinking some milk. That day, Ed was smiling deeply in the mess hall. He was eating a steak with Yorkshire pudding and mashed potatoes, with a side of vegetables.

"I take it that things went well." Kelly asked.

"Yup! I have officially promoted Cassius as the head baker of The Orville." He told her.

"You're kidding, right?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No. Kell, this is what his calling was the whole time. Being a baker and a master in making pastry that is this good." He said.

"I need a drink. This is just getting crazy." She muttered. Ed continued eating his lunch in peace with no one around.