2021
11.46 PM
10 Nov Wednesday
Current Time
Pov : y/n laying on her bed
ERGHH I FUCKIN HATE THIS GUY PLAYING WITH MY FRICKIN HEART GOD DAMN IT
I just want to punch him in the face and hug him tightly like how? I am literally thinking about him all nights but idk if I deserve to like him. I mean I am good at studies but it's just a feeling that If I loved him it would mess with my education and idk I can't love him that is how I feel evertime I think of him. I actually went to school just for him now that he isn't coming hurts my heart like hell.....I just want him to know that I really love him and miss him but I won't do that i am not gonna do that and give him false hope.....if one day just for a second if I get to hug him tightly this is what I would say..
"I really love u Jay , my heart is beating so fast rn and now that I have laid my heart on urs I really feel like I am the luckiest girl in the whole world, and much more than that I feel safer in ur arms and I really wish i could hug like this for the rest of my life I am sorry for everything that I have done. Pls don't leave me. I really love u and now that I have said everything from my heart I don't anymore words to say but I don't want to let go this hug and I don't want to let u go I am making up random things to say so i can hug even more I am sorry jay it was really my fault all along knowing that I love u and I always been mean to u because I didn't wanted u to know that, u really deserve better in ur future but one thing is for sure...in the future u will be always be in my heart and even If I wanted to let u go I don't think my heart will..that is how much u were in me. And now when we are going our separate ways my heart is gonna hurt like hell or even worse. I really hope u would be fine after all u must hate me and once again I am sorry ik u have already hated me and even I hate myself for everything I did I just didn't know what I can do but I really really love u okay and I DONT WANNA LET U GO NOOO pls I am sorry I shouldn't have said this on our last day together...and lastly this is me saying my last good bye to u Jay. I still remember when u used to say You are taller than me so now i can touch ur face well here I am in ur arms and now I really wan to touch ur face but I won't be able to control myself if anything happens after that hope u got what I mean"
this is what was in my heart and I said it he probably doesn't even know I am here thinking of him like this and miss him like hell right? Yea he wouldn't but I gues I should keep it to myself...0️⃣1️⃣2️⃣💠
To be bloom~
