The Louisiana Purchase (discontinued)

The Undertaker Shop

Once again, at another crime scene.

"Miss, you can't go in there. It'd be too brutal for a little lady like you." The guard said.

"Oh, I've seen worse, trust me. I've come here to collect the body. I'm the ahem, representative, of Undertaker, you know the death parlor." The look on the man's face was all worth it. I know I look innocent and all, but doesn't mean that you should judge on looks.

"Well alright, it's a pretty gruesome sight. Just to warn you." He gave me a weak smile before I headed in.

Clearly prostitute, ripped of the women's reproductive organs, and a slit throat. Her face had a crap load of make up. I tapped Sir Arthur on the shoulder. "Sir, if you would, explain to me what happened?" He looked at me wearily.

"The prostitute here." He motioned to the dead woman in the middle of the chaos. "Got herself attacked by the famous Jack the Ripper. As you can see, the murder slit her throat and brutally ripped out her organs. What a bloody mess." He looked at the gate that I had walked through earlier then said, "Not him again." Although I was curious to see who Arthur despised so much, I had a job to do.

"Excellent, let's go Sebastian." I heard a familiar voice say. No, it couldn't have been. Quickly, I brushed it off. I collected the body in a bag, then rushed it off to the parlor. This Jack the Ripper character was very, say interesting type of person.

--- Time skips +++

"LOUISIANA!!!!!" I heard Undertaker yell my name. I sighed letting my pencil drop on the table. Slowly, I walked over to the coffin in the corner of the room.

"What is it? I'm in the middle of planning a funeral you know." I said as I opened the coffin. Upon looking inside the coffin, I didn't see him. Up to his little tricks again I see. There is nothing else to do, I sighed again. I'm up to a game of Undertaker hunting. It's amazing how he's able to pop in and out of coffins in a snap. It's not any reaper power I know about. At least I don't think it's one. "Are you in here?" I opened a coffin.

A very bright light admitted from the door way of the shop. I jumped into a coffin. I don't know why I did it. Just sort of if something were to happen ... It's not like anyone would rob from the dead now would they. "Are you here, Undertaker?" I heard someone say but it was muffled.

"I thought you'd drop by before long." I heard Undertaker say then I heard a coffin slide open.

"Welcome, my lord." There was a long pause. "Is today the day you'll condescend to enter one of my special coffins?" Undertaker continued.

"Certainly not. I came-" The person was cut off.

"You don't have to tell me. I know. Louisiana! Come out to play." That's my queue.

I slid the wooden cover over the coffin enough so I could sit up. "You called for me, Undertaker?" I said calmly. The everyone but the Undertaker looked my way with scared, yet shocked faces. Hell! One of them was on the floor, on the verge of hyperventilation. I hopped out of the coffin and started to walk towards the group. "It's nice to finally meet you, Lord Phantomhive. I've heard many great things about you. I'm Louisiana, the little Undertaker." I greeted. I looked over at the person on the ground. Grell-sempai.

"Likewise, Louisiana." I smiled at Ciel then fixed my gaze at Grell again. Grell looked me in the eyes shaking his head no. I looked passed him. He's on one of his "acting" things. He's pretty good at it must I add. During the time Grell and I was having a conversation via eye contact, Undertaker was in the middle of explaining to the Chinese man how he has no desire for real money. Oh no, now he's swaying in circles about laughter again.

About after 2 failed attempts at his laughter, a man, a butler I assumed, stepped up to take the challenge. "Everyone please wait outside. You must not peek inside on any account." Ooooo, sounds like a good joke.

"Louisiana go outside and keep our clients ... safe." I rolled my eyes at him.

"You both owe me your lives." I smiled at the Undertaker, also making sure that Grell heard me too. Sebastian looked at me confused.

"The both of us?" Sebastian asked. I just shook my head at him, indicating that this had nothing to do with him.

After what seemed to be a minute waiting outside in the sunlight, the rest of the group entered the shop once again when the very attractive butler opened the door, smiling at us all. "Please come in. He'll fulfill the end of his deal now." His silky smooth voice.

As I entered into the darkness again, I saw that Undertaker was on the table, giggle drunk. "Louisiana, go get our guests something to drink." I laughed at that joke.

"What's so funny?" Ciel said to me.

"The Undertaker sure is a funny man." I gave a last burst of giggle as I lifted the curtain in the back room to get something. I was laughing as I was walking out of the room. I could feel my body getting weak the more I laughed. "Hahaha." I inhaled. "Here you go." I handed them each a beaker filled with hot water and a teabag. They all hesitated at the items in my hand. There expressions made me burst into another fit of giggles. It wasn't standard to drink out of a ... beaker. I made sure that these ones were never used, except for drinking purposes. Undertaker likes to ... study human organs from the dead. He even said it to everyone aloud, making no one wanting to drink the tea and stare at the beakers at terror.

By the time I had reached Ciel, he looked as if he didn't give a crap anymore. He just took the tea from me, then he sighed at what was in his hand. I sat down on one of the coffins as Undertaker explained what happened to the bodies, sipping my tea.

He went over to me, using me as a well ... example. I did what I always did, sit there calmly as he did showed how. It never got uncomfortable, him and I are pretty close considering we also live with each other.

I sipped my beaker tea. "Louisiana, dead prostitutes don't drink tea when their organs are being ripped out."

"What? Fine at the next show casing where you use me as an example, I'll act like a terrified prostitute getting her organs ripped out. With all the crying and screaming. And flailing as well?"I saw him nod. "With flailing as well." I confirmed.

"Yes, I would like that." He looked back the young Phantomhive. "People like that don't stop until someone stops them. Can you do it, villainous noble Lord Phantomhive?" He asked Ciel.

"I eliminate anyone who defiles the Queen's nation, by any means necessary." Ciel said without break in his words. Ciel abruptly stood and walked out of the parlor. Sebastian followed not after flashing me a smile.

I walked over to Grell in the corner, near Madam Red. I hugged him. "So sorry for scaring you." I said aloud, to cover our real conversation. I leaned into his ear. "I hope you know you are going to get in a load of trouble."

"I know." He smiled. The deviousness of it shined through his idiotic costume.

"Grell, come." I heard Madame Red command.

"Bye!" I yelled at them.

As the flash of light stopped coming from the door, I walked over to my boss. "Did you see Grell in his costume?" He and I burst into a fit of giggles.

*********Author time~

Hello, so you've reached the end of this chapter. Congratulations, well done reader-chan. You may proceed if you wish, right after you do all the goodie stuff like voting, commenting, and saving. Anyways, this is like me first fanfic~ so proud. I hope you enjoy what I've written, I always get a big kick out of it, till then bye.

- Faceless

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