(Hello everyone! This book is being written for Hanukkah-Christmas so if You know Adam Sandler's Movie, "Eight Crazy Nights" Then you may have an idea where this is going. This is indeed going to be a Trunks x Pan fanfiction, With a tiny ass Kid Goku being Whitey so I hope you enjoy!)
T'was the Night of Hanukkah,
Trunks Briefs- a cold hearted, Christmas hating bastard, sat inside of a Chinese restaurant. He had ordered about four scorpion bowls, His stomach seemingly not being filled yet.
The waiter, Short, Overweight, With a patch of Short black hair on top of his head came to the table. "Four scorpion bowls in under Five minutes? That's got to be a new restaurant record!"
Trunks slowly turned his head to the man, taking off his glasses and placing them into his shirt pocket. "Oh yeah? Well I'm about to break an even bigger record, the world's longest burp..!"
The waiter, looking at Trunks as Trunks began to release the gas from his mouth.
The burp began low, making it's way higher, and higher. It got so high, people's glasses were breaking, and a homeless guy walking past the restaurant window was able to hear it from the outside! As the Burp of Capsule Corporation's Ceo died down, it had sounded as it had begun.
The waiter's eyes were wide, looking down into Trunks' blue ones. Trunks not only had sat in this restaurant to eat, but he had a few to drink here too, He was wasted.
"M-Mm.." Trunks yawned, placing a hand onto his stomach.
"Well.. here's your receipt. Congratulations.. Now excuse me while I go take showa (Shower)."
After the waiter walked away, Trunks smirked, standing up with his mischievous blue eyes pointing to his escape. "I'm sure no one will mind.." he made his way outside, Walking to his red car.
Trunks pulled out his keys, attempting to unlock his car, The drunken man accidentally kept scratching the door around the lock.
It wasn't until the police pulled up behind him, looking at Trunks while smirking.
"Hello, Briefs.." they spoke up.
Trunks' eyes would widen, placing an infamous smirk on his face before turning to his side to look at them, adjacent to his own car.
"Ah.. hello officers."
"I hope your not planning on driving tonight, Briefs." One of the officers said.
"Oh no.. I'm here giving my car a kiss goodnight." Trunks responded, turning back to his car. "Nighty night car..! I'll be back for you in the morning...." He said before walking a few feet away from his car and clicks the lock button twice. "O-Oh~? Not finished yet, Car?~" he then stepped back the car.
Trunks started licking his car, letting out low groans and moans. "M-Mm.." the police watched confused, raising their eyebrows. "O-Oh... Car.." his hands all over his read car, licking and cuddling his head against his window. The police watched in Tears. It wasn't until the waiter came back outside..
"HE DINED AND DASHED ME!, HE CHEWED AND SCREWED ME!, HE SIP AND SKIP ME!"
"What?!" Questioned one of the cops.
"He no pay for his four scorpion bowl!" He yelled again.
Trunks looked up quick. "Oh boy.." before running off and the police drove after him.
Play the song "Davey's song"
"I'm the kind of guy who can't stand a holiday
So I drink 'em all away, that's me." Trunks sang as he would jump on a trashcan lid and ride it down a frozen railing.
"I don't decorate no trees
And I won't eat no p[otato latkes
But I'll give this old lady's melons a squeeze..!
That's just who I am." Trunks continued before squeezing watermelons that some lady was carrying.
"Well, I'll never spin a dreidel but I'll always throw an egg
Then I'll Charlie horse your leg for laughs" He sang as he would literally charge horse some random guy's leg and him scream out in pain.
"While you're singing your holiday tune
I'm acting like the town buffoon
Whippin' out my big , white, scary moon
And blowin' a beef your way.." He pulled down his pants Infront of the carolers and passed gas, making him fly forward as the people gagged.
"I hate people who think reindeer are cute.
To me they're just something to shoot!
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me"
Trunks then stole a snow Mobile and drove it fast, grabbing his nunchucks and hitting snowmen.
"Well, I'm a snowmobile stealin'
No " 'tis the season' " feeling kind of guy (Kind of Guy)
This time of year sucks so I take my nunchucks
And make sure every snowman die..!"
"Belivin' in Santa's all wrong
And Chanukah's eight nights too long" He sang as he rammed into the giant chanukah and Santa statue and they fell over and broke.
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me
I hate love, I hate you, I hate me..."
Song ends.
The police finally caught up to Trunks, putting him and handcuffs. Trunks looked really unamused and rolled his eyes.
"Mr. Briefs, you're coming with us.." An officer spoke up.
"Yeah yeah."
The other officer loaded him into the back of the police car. "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do can be used against you in court."
As Trunks was being driven away, a woman was watching with her son. "He's changed.." she sighed.
(Can anyone guess who the woman is?)
YOU ARE READING
A heart made of Stone
Romance(𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 "𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐙𝐘 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒" 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐌!) When West City's own rude, infamous, and Drunken business man Leaves a Chinese restaurant without paying, Police take him into custody. but it wasn't until his cou...
