The morning was welcomed by a soft drizzle. Last night seemed to drag incredibly longer. The air of despondency didn't help. Vincent woke up three times, his dreams were half pleasant half foreboding. Good thing the medications were potent enough to keep him groggy and sleepy the rest of the night. He was still a bit light-headed when he finally got up.
The breeze was kind of chilly, so he grabbed his sweater before heading downstairs --still carrying guilt from what happened last night. The scent of brewing coffee greeted him. It must be around seven, his dad already up, he thought. Minding his footsteps he scanned the dining room, no one, the kitchen, still no sign of anyone. He saw a yellow sticky note on the fridge. It said Dolores went out very early in the morning. He tried the garden, his dad was there smoking a cigarette.
"Morning dad", Vincent greeted with uncertainty.
"Hey, you're up", said Mark who immediately put off his smoke. "Breakfast?", he asked smiling at Vincent.
"Ok", Vincent smiled back.
Mark made him cheese omelet and a mug of hot cocoa. For him, he just reheated the bolognese pasta from last night and a cup of brewed coffee.
"How's mom?", Vincent asked as he sliced his omelet with a fork.
"Yeah, she's ah, you know. She's up by the way, but doesn't feel like coming down yet. You know", Mark responded between sip.
"I know", Vincent said quietly. He felt a sudden pang of remorse. He lost his appetite, so he drank the hot cocoa instead. It warmed his stomach and it felt good.
"Bud, you know, in our heart of hearts, we want you to be happy. Your mom and I are just worried to death about the consequences of your request. You're aware of your condition, yeah? God knows what will happen. What if, what if..", Mark stopped himself.
"I die?", said Vincent but felt bad for saying it.
"I didn't mean that. Besides, we don't know who your real parents are. We never found out. I don't know how or how long it'll take to find out, or if your mother and I would even agree on that", Mark explained. There was a hint of vulnerability on his voice.
Vincent was silent. He got up and walked towards his dad and gave him a tender hug. "I love you dad. Sorry. Sorry if I upset you", and he weeped.
"Bud, we were deeply hurt. It's beyond words. But we're not mad at you. You know that. We love you too, so much. We're just not sure if we're willing to make this sacrifice. If we're that strong enough to let you go", Mark told Vincent while gently patting his son's back to appease him.
Vincent said nothing, he just continued crying. Making his hold tighter.
"Vincent buddy, you know what. Why don't we go to your mom? Whatchathink? I think she needs you. Shall we?", Mark told his son.
Vincent nodded, still in tears, yet managed to say, "But I'm scared".
Mark held Vincent's hand and told him, "I'll take the lead".
The warm shower has definitely helped Anna kick off the unsettling mood she had earlier. The hullabaloo from the previous night lingered but Anna decided she will no longer delve on it. Sitting by the dresser still in bathrobe, she browsed through the album she compiled of Vincent's random photos that she took. She can't help but smile and be amazed by how wonderfully Vincent has touched their lives. She was truly grateful. A light knock interrupted her. The door opened very gently, and Anna saw two heads peeping. They were motionless as if waiting for a reaction.
"What on earth are you guys doing?", she said smiling. "Come on in. You, specially, my little angel. Give your mom a morning hug", blurted Anna.
Vincent walked towards Anna, and he wrapped his arms around her.
"I'll leave you guys to it. Need to do something downstairs", Mark left closing the door behind him.
Vincent sat beside his mom. He was still uncomfortable after what he wished for his birthday. "Mom, I know you feel bad about last night. I'm so sorry. It's just that, I...I...", Vincent was out of words.
Anna kissed him on the head. She doesn't feel like talking about this now, but also believes there is no right time. Yes, time, the one thing they do not have enough anymore.
"I was overwhelmed with worry more than upset. I don't want to let go, I mean I can't. That's how I feel. But, I was sitting here and thinking, we should also consider your feelings. That we should open our hearts wider inorder to hear it. But, right now, honestly, I don't know how", she told Vincent.
Vincent remained silent.
"But, hey, don't you want us anymore? Ha, little angel? Don't you love your mom anymore?", teased Anna.
"Mom, wherever I go, whatever happens, you have this huge space in my heart", Vincent stretched out his arms, "And no one, can ever replace that", he beamed.
Those words struck Anna, right in her very heart.
"Oh, I just remembered, forgot something in the bathroom. Excuse me honey", she lied.
When she closed the bathroom door behind her, tears started streaming down her eyes. She clasped her hands on her mouth to stop her from making a noise.
"Mom! I'll be in my room. Have to finish something in my laptop", Vincent yelled.
"Okay honey. See you at lunch", she replied struggling at every word.
How can I let this little angel go? What strength can I muster to have the courage to give him away? Those were her thoughts.
