The Worst of Times

Prologue

Prologue:

My eyes opened slowly. A bright light reached and I groaned in pain, feeling a numb sensation in my wrist. I looked down and saw it was heavily bandaged. All I could feel was pins and needles but my back ached horribly.

"Hello, Chester. I'm your doctor." A man in a white coat said and I looked at him unevenly.

"Why am I here?" I asked quietly and he frowned a little.

"You attempted suicide by cutting your wrist." He explained and I sighed as I suddenly remembered. "You were out for a while, almost a whole day but what matters is that you're awake now."

"Can I see Mike?" I asked in a quiet voice and he nodded his head and Mike came in with a worried look on his face.

"Chester," He breathed in relief and rushed towards me, hugging me tightly. I hugged him back, feeling tears running down my face. "Why did you do it, Chaz?"

"Just a bad day."

"People don't attempt suicide just because of one bad day."

"They do if they're me." I said darkly and Mike started crying.

"Chester, please, please don't do this again." He begged and I just looked down at my hands. He cried harder. "Chester, please! I can't live without you!"

"Mike..." I trailed off and he gripped my shoulders and looked me dead in the eyes.

"If you attempt again I'll leave you, Chester Bennington. Don't you dare make me do that." Mike threatened and I quickly nodded. Losing Mike is even more terrifying than not remembering what happened between Mark and I. Just the thought scares me.

"Mike, you'll have to leave now. We are to place Chester under a suicide watch for 72 hours." The doctor budded in and my eyes widened.

"N-no," I stuttered and he sighed.

"It's just to make sure you won't try to hurt yourself again. When we know for sure you're stable, you'll be released." He explained and I started taking deep, quick breaths.

"Chaz?" Mike said shyly as I began feeling panicked. The doctor was smooth and grabbed me a paper bag and told me to use it to calm me down. I settled and he took it and put it off to the side. "What h-happened?"

"He had a panic attack. It doesn't surprise me because of his troubled past. Almost anything could easily set him off. I'm surprised he hadn't had one sooner." He explained and I hugged the pillow that was behind me.

"Please don't make me go." I cried softly.

"I'm sorry, Chester." The doctor sighed.
~
I was kept in the watch for three days and they kept threatening to keep me for more. I learned that I wouldn't escape until I at least acted to get better. I was released on day five but I was no better than I was on the first day.
~
"Harder! Oh, please!" I heard Samantha moan through the thin walls. I cringed. She began having sex with total strangers every night of the week. All of them were just pure sex, none of the men she brought into the house meant more than that to her.

I heard them finish and shivered at the sound. It disturbed me horribly. I knew Sam was just trying to get over her losses but senseless sex wasn't the way to go.

After I was sure they were both sleeping, I left my room to get a bottle of water. As I opened the fridge, I felt hands circle my waist. I quickly turned around and I saw it was the guy who Samantha was sleeping with tonight. I saw a glimpse of him when he came into the house.

He pushed me back against the fridge and slammed a hand over my mouth before I could yell for Samantha.

"Shush, little boy." He cooed and I began shaking. "Don't scream when I uncover your mouth. Understand?"

I nodded. He slowly lifted his hand off my mouth and it went to my waist.

"Didn't you get enough action tonight?" I spat and rolled my eyes.

"If I had I wouldn't be cornering you like this now, would I?" He smiled and I tried to push away from him but he held me steady.

In a swift movement, I bent and ducked under his arms and bolted for Samantha's bedroom.

"Sam-!" I was cut off when the man grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth. My short yelling, although, was enough for Samantha to hear and she came out of her room and gasped when she saw the scene.

"Get out!" She bellowed at him and he only tightened his grip on me but uncovered my mouth. "What the hell, Matt?!"

"Isn't this the boy who got raped?" He grinned and my heart dropped to the floor. "And to think one whole night of doing whatever you want with this boy would only get you one year in prison... It seems worth it."

"Fuck you!" I cried out and sent my foot backwards, kicking him in his soft spot. I rushed towards Sam as she began calling the police.
~
We never saw that man again and he was never caught. I was sure I wouldn't see him again but there was always a possibility. He used a fake name when introducing himself to Sam. The police think he knew I lived with her, as my story was all over the papers, and wanted to hurt me. I never told Mike about the incident.
~
"He's so emo!" Someone laughed as I walked by at school. I felt my cheeks grow hot from the attention I didn't want.

"Think he'll attempt to kill himself again if I tell him to?" Someone chuckled and others cheered him on. By the time I made it to my first class, tears were streaming down my face.

No one was in the classroom but the teacher was and she looked at me oddly.

"Chester, we have a field trip today. Didn't you know?" She asked and I shook my head. "Well it's too late now. I'm not chaperoning the trip."

"Oh," I said tonelessly but my voice cracking as I tried to stop the tears from running down my face as I hid my eyes.

"Chester, what's wrong?" She asked and I finally looked up at her. She saw my tears and her face seemed to change to grief. "Oh, Chester. Is it tor classmates again?"

I nodded my head.

"What have they been saying? Come on, take a seat at my desk." She directed and I sat down on a chair that was in front of her desk as she sat at her own behind the desk.

"They want me to die." I said softly and her eyes widened.

"What makes you say that?" She asked quickly and I started crying again and held out the wrist I had attempted suicide on.

"They want me to try again." I said and she held the arm I was holding out, her eyes running across the scarred skin.

"Why did you do it?" She asked quietly, tears of her own falling down her face. I took my arm back and looked down to the floor, in shame.

"It's the only way I can escape my pain."
~
After that, she contacted someone and I was put back into suicide watch for another week. When I came back to school, I never spoke to her again. I was angry that she could just send me away like that and give away everything I told her.

The bullying never stopped and if anything, it just got worse. I managed to catch up on my school work and pass all my classes by the end of the year. Although I hadn't failed, I felt like I did.
~
"Chester, you know I love you." Mike said, settling me down on the couch in my home. He said he had to talk to me and I instantly knew it wasn't good. I was already crying.

"Mike, please don't leave me. Please. You're all I have left anymore." I cried and he pulled me into a hug. I sobbed into his shoulder and began shaking.

"You'll be okay." He said softly and my heart was just breaking away into a million pieces.

"Mike, please! What did I do wrong?" I cried and he looked down to the ground.

"I said I'd leave you if you tried again. You were placed into suicide watch not long ago for a whole week."

"I didn't attempt! Mikey, please! I didn't-"

"Chester," He interrupted me and I stopped all movement. "It's over."
~
This felt like the beginning of the end. It truly is the worst of times.