Yellow //DNF//

2- Why?

Everything feels warm. I smile as I take my final breaths.

This is it. Everything has come down to this.

Warm summer evenings. Cool winter days. My mom. My sisters. My friends. George.

I don't regret living. It's just my time. The drip finally stops, you know?

I reminisce on my experiences through the years. The good and the bad. The sad, the happy. When it comes down to it they're all precious memories. These moments. These emotions that made me- me?

If I am to be born again I wish to have my mother's warmth, my sister's ability to make anything better, no matter how horrible or sad it may be. Bad's kindness. Tommy's spirit. Sap's friendliness. George's- well- everything? When it comes down to it I can't just pinpoint my favourite thing about him. There's so much. His smile. His voice. His laugh. Suddenly I begin to feel lighter. George's soft laughter is the last thing that runs through my mind before everything turns white.

This is it, I guess. It's cold. Everything is covered in light and yet it feels so dark. I feel so alone. I miss the sun's warmth. Soft breezes coming through my window.

"Clay?" I hear a familiar voice call... dad? I turn to look. Though I can't find anyone, I see a meadow, with a bubbling spring. Birds chirping. Sun beaming. Peace.

I begin a slow walk towards the meadow that progresses to a run. It's so far yet I keep going. Knowing this is the only way to be happy. Just as I reach a soft archway crafted of branches and vines I feel a hand on my shoulder, pulling me away.

"NO. LET ME GO." I cry as I fight to reach the peaceful meadow.

My vision goes black.

After some time of nothingness I begin to feel my body once again connected to my brain. I adjust my fingers.

Is this death? Is it but an endless black void?

I tune in, to listen for the calming sounds of the meadow.

There is only silence.

Eventually the silence fades into something else.

A beeping sound? That's bizarre. I hear someone crying in the background... mom?

No. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. This can't be happening. FUCK.

I begin opening my eyes.

I find myself in a plain white room. Some flowers on the window sill. My lower body, covered with a baby blue blanket. A hospital gown clothing me. The heart monitor beside me.

I turn to see my mother. She looks tired. She looks sad. I try to reach out to her but my hands are stuck.

Restraints. Great.

I manage to choke out the word 'mom' through my sandpaper like throat and mouth.

She looks up in awe.

"Clay-" is all she manages to say before the door is flung open and a man in a white coat asks her to leave the room.

He walks over to the hospital bed before taking a seat beside me.

"So, your name is Clay Wastaken, correct?" A deep, unfamiliar voice asks.

I nod.

"When were you born?"

"August 12th, 1999"

He can hear the dryness in my voice before grabbing me a water bottle and a straw.