Monotone

Chapter One

Quiet. Everything was quiet in Baekhyun's world. Outside, rush hour traffic and hundreds of pedestrians hurried about from point A to destination B. But it all sounded the same to him. At times, he thought of it to be a little vague. But of course, he couldn't really decipher an opinion. It's been this way for as long as he could remember. He turned the television on. Though entirely pointless, it nonetheless made him feel as if he weren't completely helpless.

The bitter early winds of spring licked at Baekhyun's ears, causing him to burrow his head even further into the neck of his coat as he slowly made his way down a small alleyway near Yulgok-ro, taking a left by a meat deli and then a right into a parking lot that belonged to a crammed but well-kept restaurant. He slipped his way inside and sat down near the doors, waiting to be noticed by a familiar waiter.

Baekhyun felt a small tap on his shoulder, and looked over to be greeted by an old friend of his. Minseok waved at him and smiled, in which he returned a smile back. Minseok wrote on a straw wrapper quickly, handing it to Baekhyun.

"Same as usual?"

Baekhyun did nothing but nod, because thats all he ever really did. Minseok patted him on the back before heading to the kitchen to put Baekhyun's order in for fish cake soup, a small bowl of rice, and the essential coffee. Baekhyun was a rather bland person, having ordinary taste in almost anything. Meals, clothes, movies, storiesー all generally the same.

He observed the countless people smiling and laughing (well, he assumed for them to be laughing), and wondered what it would feel like to be like them; Normal. He wanted to know what the clanking of silverware sounded like as they were set down on a plate. He wanted to hear diverse languages and voices. He wanted to hear the many conversations and topics that people spoke of so endlessly. He wanted to listen to music and hear the lyrics, not just read them and make up his own little story. He wanted to hear ocean waves crashing onto shore, fireworks bursting in the sky, and cicadas chirping on a warm summer night. He wanted to hear every sound the world he lived in had to offer.

But every blessing had a curse, and in Baekhyun's case, there wasn't really a blessing. He was just entirely, completely, and utterly depressed and hopeless. Nothing would change and he was stuck this way forever. And so he accepted the fact that he was no one else but himself. It took him a long time before he learned to accept that he was different. He still really hasn't. Baekhyun thinks almost everyone lives their life this way, always searching for a reason to accept themselves.

An infinite amount of people scattered about the littered sidewalks of Seoul. Baekhyun endlessly searchedー for what, he wasn't so sure yet. A cafe? No. A bookstore? Why would he want to read. A clothing department? He didn't really care for clothes. Minding his own business and not really paying attention, he felt another individual bump into him. He turned to face the stranger, who's eyes widened as they carelessly sputtered words that were nothing but mute to Baekhyun. The stranger continuously bowed and spoke as Baekhyun stood there, shaking his head and pointing to his ears.

The other didn't seem to understand, as his lips still continued to move when Baekhyun walked away, the new face walking beside him. Baekhyun felt slightly saddened. He was almost curious as to what this stranger was saying. Were they still apologizing or simply initiating conversation? He wouldn't know, nor would he ever. Baekhyun released a decent amount of air, because calling it a sigh would mean he was certain what exactly a sigh sounded like. He pulled out his phone and opened a new message, handing it to the other. Dumbfounded, they looked from the phone to Baekhyun, and then back to the phone as they typed their number. Baekhyun took the phone back, quickly tapping at the screen for a moment before the stranger's phone went off. Baekhyun walked away as they stood there, mouth agape.

Baekhyun tried not to think of the strangers face too much, but for some oddly strange reason, they flooded his thoughts. Baekhyun hadn't been one to particularly prefer males. This made his palms slightly moist as he rubbed the sweat onto his jeans. Oh god. He can't really fall for someone he didn't necessarily know, right? He eventually stumbled upon a small corner store near a Korean barbecue restaurant he frequently visited as a child. He leaned his face up against a window to peek inside. Eventually he found himself opening the door as rows upon rows of albums and CD's set out in front of him.

His mouth fell slightly open as his eyes glazed over the hundreds of discs containing audio he'd never be capable of listening to. He ran a finger along a stack of albums and read the names of artists. He desperately wanted to purchase one, take it home, and listen to it. If only it could be that easy. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

"Didn't know you had a thing for music?"

Baekhyun turned around only to be greeted by the same stranger he had met earlier. His phone buzzed again.

"I'll buy you a CD if you want. Even if you can't listen to it. Will it be comforting to own?"

No, it'd be a physical reminder that Baekhyun can't hear. Every time he were to look at it, he would hate himself even more.

He nodded his head yes.

The stranger smiled as he made his way around the small shop before picking out a CD and handing it to the cashier. Before Baekhyun knew it, he was strolling the streets, a bag in hand and a not-so stranger at his side. They communicated through text habitually, now. Baekhyun had learned the stranger's name was Chanyeol, and he was just an average high school graduate living his childhood dream of owning an apartment in Seoul. Chanyeol had learned Baekhyun lives not too far from him, and also that Baekhyun has been legally deaf since he was two years old. Thats all they really knew about each other. There wasn't much to say when one person couldn't even attempt to listen if they wanted to. But maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. Baekhyun had been told as a kid that everything happens for a reason. Maybe everything thats happened up until this point was meant for Chanyeol to come into his life.

Maybe Chanyeol is the reason Baekhyun spends sleepless nights wondering what his significant other will sound like, what joy their smile will bring and how much they'll still love Baekhyun even if he's different. Maybe Chanyeol is Baekhyun's every reason to endure the hardships he has to suffer.

Maybe Chanyeol is Baekhyun's fate.