Depressing Oneshots

Smile

*note: Noah is a nonbinary character

Growing up in separate houses can be hard for anyone but when one of the houses just isn't a safe space, it can shape the way you see home.

Noah's parents were divorced for as long as they could remember so they never felt the need for multiple parents in a home. However, when their dad got remarried, they couldn't help but feel this new sensation of hope. Maybe their house could look like the happy homes they always saw on TV. Maybe they could get a sibling that would dress up and play with them. Maybe they would actually have something to look forward to on the weekend.

That's not what happened, to say the least.

Alexandra, Noah's step mom, was detached and cold. Noah just couldn't understand what their dad saw in her. She never talked to Noah unless it was to tell them they had done something wrong. Noah could almost count on one hand the times Alexandra had been nice to them.

The first was when Alexandra picked Noah up from school, she smiled at them and gave them a piece of her chocolate bar. It was the first time in 2 years that they saw her smile at them. Noah thought the chocolate bar was poisoned so they didn't eat it but that memory stuck with them forever. The second and last time was when Noah was dancing in their living room and Alexandra laughed and said it was amazing dancing.

The thing is, Noah never truly hated Alexandra, they just wanted her to like them. Noah was always trying to prove to Alexandra that they were cool and deserving of her kindness, not that they ever got it. Noah only got to see their dad on the weekends, but that's when he worked so they usually just stayed home with Alexandra and their grandma.

They always thought about how different it would be if their dad was home. He could tell Alexandra to be nice, to try and hang out with them and then she would see that Noah was actually a really cool person, but it was too late for that now.

Noah was constantly trying to impress Alexandra; they'd listen to songs they thought she would like loud enough to hear from two floors away. Noah always thought that maybe Alexandra didn't like them because of their mom. The hatred would radiate from both Alexandra and Noah's mom when they saw each other. Noah's mom was constantly trying to get full custody over them but they didn't know how to explain that they wanted to stay. If they could even faze Alexandra, they considered it a win.

As Noah got older, Alexandra got more aggressive and spiteful for reasons Noah never understood. One of the rare days Noah's dad was home they chose to pick up burgers on the way home from school. Alexandra had this rule that Noah was the only person not allowed to eat in the downstairs living room, so while everyone else went downstairs they ate alone upstairs watching random videos on their phone. They figured they could drink their iced tea downstairs so they cleaned up their plate and went downstairs. As they peeked around the corner of the stairs they saw the bathroom door closed with the light on.

Alexandra nowhere to be found.

Noah had placed their cup on the couch arm before sitting down but when Alexandra came out and saw the cup carefully balancing on the arm she decided that it was the last straw. Mind you, Noah's dad, grandma, and 3 year old brother were in the room at the time watching the whole incident unfold as if it were an action movie. Alexandra threw Noah's body against the wall slapping them across the face, screaming about the mess that could've been made.

The only way Noah could explain how they were feeling was an out of body experience, as if they were watching from Alexandra's perspective, their dad and themself at the same time. Her icy hand against their face was the only thing they could feel for the next few minutes. Shaking, they went and sat next to their dad, who was calling his brother to come pick Noah up and take them to their mom's house. It took them a minute to realize they were crying but when they did the tears started streaming down their face more violently than ever.

That's the type of experience no one could ever forget, so when Noah's dad told the court he couldn't remember that ever happening, the pain they felt was unimaginable. The saddest thing about betrayal isn't how they were betrayed but by who. A smile. All they ever wanted from her was a smile. That constant pain floating over Noah became too much, the memories, the questions, all of it.

When Noah's dad visits their gravestone on their birthday he tells them about what their brother did in school that day and how much he misses them. The one thing he never brings up is that night.