Imagines [BTS]

Min Yoon Gi

                                                                                       I NEED U

I close my eyes shut as the alcohol engulfs me in a warm ecstasy. 

I'm ruined. Because of you.

Leaning back on the couch, I feel my body loose all sense of control. It's easier to smile now, I've become so numb that I can't even feel the gut wrenching  pain that's been stabbing my heart for the past few weeks.

Two more shots in and I forget everything; where I am, who I am. Why can't I still forget you though? Why is your name, your face, your smell the only things that I remember? 

Haven't I been hurt enough? 

Haven't you hurt me enough?

Isn't it about time I leave you for good? But why do I keep going back to you?

Do you ever think of me? Have you already forgotten about me? Was it easy? To forget our love just like that? Will you be able to love someone again?

Will I be able to love someone who's not you?

Out of habit, my hand reaches into my pocket to fish out the last token of our love, the last evidence that I was once his.

The white cuboid stares back at me, as if mocking my situation, telling me that it was obvious. That our love would disappear just like the wisps of smoke, leaving no trace behind. That I should've known this all along.

My grip around the lighter tightens and before thinking twice, I toss it across the room and it smashes against the window pane.

"How pathetic. Look at the mess you've become."

In a daze, I turn my head all around to figure out the source of the voice. It sounds like his, Did he come back?

"You can't forget me, can you? You keep searching for me, keep thinking of me?"

The tears pool around my chin, dripping down to my shirt, dampening it. 

No.

"Look, you're doing it even now."

No.

"You can't live without me. You can't stop loving me."

Stop.

"Y/N, You can't escape me."

"PLEASE JUST GO AWAY! " I scream on top of my lungs, an ugly sob following right after. 

I don't have the courage to leave you, nor do I have the strength to love you anymore. You've ruined me, you've made me lose my mind. And I know for a fact that you don't regret. 

Then again, when have you ever?

Gaining some control back, I pick up the empty bottles of alcohol from the floor before stumbling my way towards the window. This time, I stare at the white lighter with "Y.K." scribbled on it, reminiscing about the time when I made him quit his smoking habit.

That was years ago, We were so happy back then. Had nothing to worry about, shared dreams together and made promises of love to each other.

I thought I had stopped crying but suddenly, my vision goes blurry again as I pick up the white metal and shove it in it's rightful place. 

Why am I the only one in love? Why am I hurting alone?

After what seems like eternity, I allow myself to go back to bed. That dreadful place where we made so many memories together seems less daunting now that I'm intoxicated. 

With a light thump, I let myself fall on the once comfortable bed and close my eyes, mentally preparing myself for the day to come as tomorrow is going to be no different. The pain will come back and so will the memories.

 It's been the same since that day, It's become a new routine of mine.

I miss him, then I hate him, then I miss him and the day ends with me getting drunk just so that I can curse him and forget about him.

But before I fall asleep, just like today, I mumble to myself in sleep, 

"I Need U, Min Yoongi. "