Without You

Chapter One

It's how he looked at me,like I was a masterpiece in an art gallery,like I were his favourite place in this world,and the only thing he ever loved more than life itself.It's how constantly he made my smile a little brighter and my laughter a little loud,and how countless he chose to spend bad days with me than having good days with someone else,over and over again over anyone or anything else...even on the days we did not understand each other.He was always a biggest fan of my achievements.It's how in my darkness he came holding a torch and brought me out to light,how solid and not perfect he wanted me,to wish he was who I wanted to be with whenever I went through a rough patch.Through the pain to make me feel I could fly.It's how tirelessly he fought my battles and never gave in, picking me up each time I fell and whispering all the right words I needed to hear.That made me fall in love with him.It's how true he kept remaining himself when things were changing,people coming and going,things falling apart and ends not meeting.It's how safe I felt with him holding me in his arms at night without as much as a word coming out of his mouth,how he knew which button to tick to give me kicks and heart attacks on my worst days,and how rare boys like him were.It's how the world changed in a minute or two whenever he was around,and never wishing I could go to a place without such thing as getting lost.How he used to hold my hand walking down the boulevard street to await cars passing by at the crossroads.What more could I have asked for.It's how in  7 billion smiles and only his poured life into me,and how he was the final place I would've settled where I can see his face and our inauspicious memories unscathed in every corner.It's how he walked in a room and not having to compare himself to anyone at all,not focusing on what was taken away but finding something to replace it and acknowledging the blessings.It's how he drove and made my insecurities blow with the wind and brought back courage even that of loving again,and how he never made me break any rule of my parents for him.It's how we visited museums and tried out coffee shops while listening to his favourite albums driving in his dad's car,with a paralloid camera and taking good pretty pictures of the sunrise and set.How on every mornings he'd call wanting to hear a voice he said was his favourite sound track of summer,he lied,it normally sounded husky and like that un-serviced abnormal truck hauling weights.But regardless whatsoever!he genuinely loved and cared.It's how he knew when to give and when to take...it's was undescribed.If perfection ever existed,I would have pointed out all my ten fingers and vouched for him, screamed my lungs out and painted a picture for the world to see.It's how he never let time play tricks on him and made him forget the things he once knew,how everything rusted he touched glittered.Yes,life wasn't always sunshine and butterflies,but he also knew it would be nothing without pain and disappointments.It's how he made time on Sundays,took me to church and taught me how to pray,to talk to God when my heart feels heavy and not go to the world.It's how like a puzzle piece he connected the dots and vacant spaces to make me wholly complete,and without expectations how he catered for my needless needs.It's clear he was raised by a queen.But that goodnight became a goodbye.We never talked again nor went mountain hiking and made out on some deserted buildings,we never fell asleep chatting a storm and typing sweet long goodnight texts.Long phone call conversations and him messing up my hair was also no more, hearing him laugh maliciously could no longer be heard too,and my eyes longed to see him in his favourite jacket but they never did.I kept on hoping to see his shadow and hearing his footsteps,but still I knew he was coming no more.I never woke up with reasons to see fit for living,as half of my world went away and what was left of it was shattered and falling apart.Now people are asking"Where is he whom you told us about"and i have no response than through silence portray emotions of a story i could never tell on how close I came to loosing my mind after he left.Some say I'm never fit enough raise his unborn child.But eyy!I'm hoping to raise a boy that if was to be classed with h him he'd be a match.To be a reminder that true love once existed and was found.I hope to raise a boy whom in his eyes without search I'd find his father.Death be not proud.Our paths are yet to cross and our hearts rekindle.For now,it's only me without you against the world.