Practice

Dark Paradise (Part 2)

Chapter Notes

Here's part 2.
Let me know how you're feelin' it.
And as always, thanks for reading.

Emily’s hands were shaking on the drive back. Alison was quiet, and Emily knew what she was thinking, knew she was itching to ask Emily if it was okay and if she thought Noel would think it was good, but Emily didn’t trust herself to answer the girl, as much as she wanted to.

It wasn’t until she started fiddling with the stereo, hands still trembling, that she felt Alison’s fingers interlace with hers.

“Em, are you okay?” She asked softly, running her thumb over the top of the older girl’s hand.

Emily hated how calming it felt.
She just nodded, keeping her eyes on the road, watching the exit signs pass by her and ignoring their reflection in her favorite pair of blue eyes.

“Something’s been bothering you all night,” Alison tried again, her frown catching Emily ’s attention in her peripheral.

“I know I’m not as good at this as you are, but I can still tell when you’re not okay.”

“I’m okay,” Emily assured her, giving her hand a squeeze, “I promise.”

“Did you have fun?”

“I always have fun with you.”

“Do you think Noel will?” Alison asked tentatively, and her words shattered the air in Emily’s lungs. 

She held her breath, trying to lock in the shards tearing up her chest before they exploded – she couldn’t risk one hitting Alison. Time froze, or maybe it sped up, Emily couldn’t really tell. But Alison was patient, letting Emily take her time before responding.

“Can I tell you something, Ali? It doesn’t matter what you guys do. Anyone lucky enough to take you on a date is lucky to just spend time with you. You could take him anywhere. If he likes you, he’ll be happy with anything. And if he’s not, then he doesn’t deserve you. But for what it’s worth, tonight was amazing, and I think he’ll be impressed. I know I was.”

“I hope so,” Alison sighed, pulling Emily’s hand into her lap.

“You know you can talk to me, Em,” Alison tried again after a few minutes of silence, just as Emily pulled off on the right exit.

“It’s really nothing. I just got into a little fight with Hannah, but it’s okay. We’ll be fine,” she told her, and it wasn’t completely a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.

Here she was, back with the lying.
She hated how hard it was. Alison felt like honesty, and Emily could feel her soul crumbling more and more every moment she lied to her.

“What did you guys fight about?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it right now. I had a good time tonight, I’m not ready to ruin that just yet.”

“I had a good time, too,” Alison grinned, “thanks, Emily. For everything.”

“Anything for you,” Emily told her, this time not bothering to hide the weight in her voice. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Alison, but she felt the grip around her hand tighten and thought that was enough for now.

It had to be.

Emily couldn’t help but notice the way the moon reflected against Alison’s features as she laid her head against the window, eyes closed.
Lauren pulled into Alison’s driveway.

The lights in the living room were out, but her parents had left the porch light on for them.

Alison sighed as she opened the car door and followed Emily to the porch. Emily felt like there was a spotlight on them as she walked Alison to the door.

“I guess this is it,” Alison sighed, shifting on her feet nervously like she was waiting for something.

“Did it meet your expectations?” Emily joked, attempting to keep the mood light despite the quicksand in her veins.

“And then some,” Alison admitted.

“Good,” Emily smiled, tucking a stray hair behind Alison’s ear. Her cheeks were rosy under the fluorescent light, from the cold biting at her cheeks. She attempted to pull Emily’s jacket from her shoulders, to give it back before she went inside, but Emily’s hands wrapped around the younger girls at the zipper.

“Keep it. Looks better on you than it ever has on me.”

“Emily, I can’t keep it. It’s your favorite jacket,” Alison shook her head. Emily felt bold with the
light of the moon on her back.

“I like it better on you.”

Alison’s eyes searched hers, Emily could feel the blue orbs looking all the way through her, but as much as her heart was thrashing in warning, she couldn’t look away. There was something different in Alison’s eyes, something that made the air feel a little warmer. She didn’t know what
it meant, but it made her skin buzz in the best way.

“Can I kiss you?” Alison asked suddenly, Emily’s attention crash landing back into the moment.

“W-what?”

“That’s how you’re supposed to end a date, right? With a kiss goodnight?” She asked.

“Oh uh, y-yeah, I guess it is,” Emily stuttered, cursing herself for the way her words broke on the tip of her tongue.

“I just want to get this right. That’s why we’re practicing, yeah?” Alison urged. Emily felt the tears brimming on her eyelids as they came, and she pulled Alison in before the younger girl could see. She wrapped her lips around Alison’s, soft at first, cautious, worried of pushing her too far.

Always worried.

Alison didn’t hesitate to respond though. She pushed back harder, her hand slipping up to the back of Emily’s neck. Emily tried to hold back the whimper building in her throat as she felt Alison’s fingers play with the baby hairs on the back of her neck. She didn’t want to scare her.

She took control of the kiss, carefully, bringing both hands around Alison’s back to hold her firmly. She never wanted to let go. She felt Alison’s tongue gently brush against her bottom lip, and she almost opened her mouth in reflex before she remembered where she was. It was too much.

Instead, she pulled back slowly, letting her lips hover against Alison’s before pressing them together quickly once more. She forced herself away, unable to keep her bottom lip from trembling, and she couldn’t tell if it was from the tears she was holding in or the desire she had to swallow.

Apparently, she didn’t do as good of a job as she thought holding back her tears, though, because as soon as Alison opened her eyes, she frowned and dragged her fingers over Emily’s cheek.

“Em, are you crying? What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

“No I just, I have to go,” Emily mumbled, ignoring the way Alison called her name as she retreated back to her car, tears spilling down her cheeks.

She had 17 notifications on her phone when she finally made it back to her house, 12 of which were from Alison herself. She called her 4 times, left two voicemails, and sent six messages that Emily didn’t have the energy to respond to.

Ali ♡ | 10:13pm: are you okay?
Ali ♡ | 10:17pm: please talk to me
Ali ♡ | 10:21pm: Emily
Ali ♡ | 10:21pm: please
Ali ♡ | 10:25pm: at least let me know that you’re home? please?

Ali ♡ | 10:38pm: I’m sorry, for whatever I did. Thanks anyway, for giving me the best first date I could have hoped for. goodnight, Em. I hope you’re safe. I love you…

She only had two messages from Hannah, which surprised her, but they still hurt almost more than
Alison’s did.

Hanah | 10:41pm: Are you okay? Ali’s freaking out on the phone right now and she keeps saying your name but won’t tell me what happened

Hanah | 10:45pm: Okay I’ve been listening to her cry for ten minutes straight. Whatever you did, woman up and fix it.

Aria | 10:43pm: Em, what’s going on Hanah has interrupted my beauty sleep demanding I “claim my girl” before she declares war.

Aria | 10:47pm: EMILY talk to me before I don’t even know how I got involved in whatever this is what is going on??????

Spencer | 10:51pm: Emily, are you okay? You’ve got everyone worried. Please just let somebody know that you’re okay.

*Group Message (Ali♡ , Hannah, Aria, Spencer, Emily)*

Emily | 10:55pm: I’m fine, guys. I’ve just have a lot on my mind.

Ali ♡ | 10:55pm: did I do something?