JJBA Oneshots

Guido Mista x gender neutral reader

A/N this is actually just me gushing over Mista and being a perfume nerd :')

„Hey Y/N I need to ask you something."

Mistas request took you out of your thoughts while you were wiping down the counter tops of the villas kitchen after breakfast.

„Shoot." you said not really paying any attention to your work mate.

„Uhm do you think I smell?"

This made you stop in your tracks. Did Mista just ask you if he smells? What is going on in his tiny brain. Why would he even think about that?

„What? If I think you smell? Where does that come from?"

„Doesn't matter just answer the damn question." Mista was getting agitated out of pure embarrassment. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

„Uhm..." you took a step closer to your friend and decided to take a small sniff at him.

What you smelled was just Mista. Sure he did smell a bit musky, definitely sweat but you were used to it so why should it bother you?

„You smell like always Mista what the hell do you want from me? Are you just here to waste my time? Tell me what's going on or I'll leave."

You were getting annoyed why the hell did the gunslinger walk around here bothering you during your household talks with such unimportant proposals.

„If I tell you, will you promise not to laugh or tell anyone?" he pleaded.

„Yea yea of course now tell me."

„You know how Trish told me I smell. As in like smell bad, like sweat and that I'm hairy. I just wanted to ask if you thought the same. Do I really smell? Or does Trish just not like me?"

„Oh god Mista really? You're getting all worked up because Trish told you something in the middle of a battle in a very confusing situation where we all were on the brink of an emotional breakdown? Please give me a break. Just go take a shower if it bothers you so much."

„Hm maybe you're right also I was thinking about buying cologne."

„Then go and do that I guess what's it to me?"

„I think I just wanted to ask you if you could maybe give me tips? I just noticed that you always smell really good and I might just need a little help picking you know." Mista was getting anxious about your reaction. Why were so difficult about it? Did you really hate him that much?

You just sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. „Of course. I've got the next few days off so just tell me when you wanna go."

Two days later you found yourself in Mistas en suite bathroom skimming through his very meager collection of body care products. No wonder Trish thinks that he smells bad. All he had was mint toothpaste, 3in1 bodywash that was apparently sports scented (whatever that meant) and a seemingly 250 years old bottle of Irish aftershave that he apparently never used which smelled like actual vomit.

„Mista uhm, do you ever like put on some bodylotion or exfoliate or whatever? You know there's more to proper body care then smell right?"

„Uhhh sure?" he laughed nervously. To that you shot him a look saying: ‚cut the crap and be honest with me'.

„Okay, okay don't look at me like that, no I've never used anything like that and never thought I'd have to."

„Okay you have me now. We're going into a drugstore and then get you some cologne. You're lucky that you activated my helpers Syndrom."