Serious Open Secret

The end is here

I wrote this, to uplift and empower others, who may be going through similar situations when it comes to being cheated on, the psychological, manipulation, and the stress that comes with it. My character has been assassinated and I've been violated and disrespected.
I was asked to just let it go and don't speak about it because it's embarrassing and could cause more drama with all parties involved. Although I'm far from perfect, I have done nothing wrong in this situation, and I stand my ground, she don't get to do this to me and walk around like she is innocent cause she's not, her hands are dirty, just like her heart. I'm talking about lesbians, who sleep with men, and they hide it. She lives a lesbian lifestyle, but she also has a whole man, 5'4 115 Lbs. The guy knows about the girlfriend, and he doesn't mind at all because he has a woman, I mean a whole family, with kids. Recently, I've had this problem, with my lover. Let me give you some background. I had an attraction to girls, as far back as grade school, I didn't know how to act on that, and even more, I didn't see anyone doing that. I was raised with my mother and father, my brothers had girlfriends, my sister had a boyfriend, so heterosexuality was normal for me. I was a tomboy, but my mom didn't care, she still pressed my hair, took me to church, and dressed me as a little girl should be. I hated all the girly stuff. I was always playing football, basketball, hanging out with friends, riding my bike & playing video games. And YES! I would climb a tree or fence with the prettiest dress on and would get in trouble too! My first sexual relationship was with a guy. I was young and wanted to do what I want so yes, I had a son, I was a teenage mom. Sometime after that, I start to date, my first woman. She was a lesbian, who had never slept with a guy. That was a seven-year relationship, I was in love with her and she was in love with me. I was young, she was older than me but we moved away from Kansas City, and we just start to live life, working going to school, working out, being a mom, and maintaining a healthy relationship. We enjoyed it for seven years! We had ups and downs but never argued over one of us being caught talking to a guy or nothing like that. My son was happy, she was happy, I was happy. The girls were on me, guys too but I didn't entertain that. The girls caused our problems. No, it was me, I stand in it! I was wrong. I was a player after that sixth year, and they didn't care if I had a woman. I just didn't lie to any of them, and that is how I was able to have five women at a time. My woman was not about to keep putting up with it, after so long, she told me how she start to feel, she said she'd leave me, so I let all of them go, I tried to do right by her, but she ends up leaving me sometime after we moved back to Kansas City. I was heartbroken but It was the best relationship I had till this day, we remained friends till she passed, rest well "Mooky" Now, in the meantime, in-between times, I've dated a couple of guys, I just never dated both male and female at the same time. I don't consider myself bisexual, however, in reality, if you've ever had sexual intercourse with a man, anytime in your life, you are considered bisexual, although I don't like it, I don't consider myself bisexual but the truth is the truth and I am a proud mother. Let me speed up to more current events. People ask me all the time, "how do you know if your woman is sleeping with a man?" I know my woman hasn't slept with a man because of the aroma of her punani, it's the way it tastes, it has a natural taste about it, now if she has sex with a man, that changes the taste because it knocks off her PH balance. I can also tell if she has had something in her, be it plastic or real, by its elasticity from the last time we had sex. So I can tell down to a science when it comes to this matter. Now that I gave you some background, now let's fast-forward to 2016 when I responded to a DM message with, "I'm fine, how are you beautiful?" So we talked, we came face to face after a while, and we started to walk into this whole entanglement. The first day I left her at my house, I got a call from my ex lover Nee Nee, which I call her (baby mama). She explained to me, how this woman was at my house, on the phone with this four-finger stud. So I checked it out and my ex was right! So I brought it to Anita's attention, telling her that I knew but I didn't make a big deal about it, because we had been talking for like six months. I was cool, plus I have seen what this stud looked like and I didn't feel any threat. So we moved right along in this entanglement. Now, sometime after that, Nee Nee, hit me up, with some tea, that my lady had slept with this guy months ago. She had all the facts, information that she should have NOT known, and I stood on her side, because it was THE TRUTH. Let me say this, I went the "bleep" off! at this point. One of the first questions I ALWAYS ask a woman, that I'm interested in, or is interested in me, is "how long has it been since you had sex with a man?" Everybody knows this about me! Her answer when I asked the first time was years, like myself right. She said they lying, she start crying, saying my baby mama just want me back. The guy's name was David, and she would never address this man and call him a liar, which spoke volumes to me. At this point, we were sexually active with each other, we like damn near a year in, I never concluded that she had some peen, because I've done my inspection when I first touched her, so I proceeded on. She never cleared her name, so it was up in the air, although I did an inspection, looking back, I believe I was wrong 100%. However, she would NOT address the issue, she'd only say "they lied on me" and "your ex just want you back" that wasn't enough for me so I had to stop being available to her. Now, this was the biggest red flag, right in my face, but because I wanna see the good in people (which is no excuse) and I think people wanna do right, months later we hooked back up. We did put in six years, we both knew what time it was. Don't get me wrong she was good to me, to an extent. I was loyal to a fault, hands down, I didn't want for shit, but there were ups and downs, just like any relationship. We have been through it, with the lies, money, alcohol, and her taking food off OUR plate, now you know I'm not having that! Just the way she let her son disrespect her, became a problem for me! Putting hands on your mother is a no for me, my son would never and if he did, I'd cut him off with the quickness. We just had obstacles along the way, which is normal but we always came to somewhat of an understanding, so I thought. When someone keeps doing what you ASKED them not to do, they just really don't give a "bleep" and they really don't respect you. See, I have never dated a bisexual woman. I would NEVER EVER date a bisexual woman, under any circumstances. Now we are at the present day 2021, how am I the bad guy, when a whole man, inbox me about my woman, and he can prove that he has been sleeping with her without my knowledge? He got mad at her because she wouldn't give him any money so he contacted me to help him. This was extortion. She was protecting him, while he was putting out her nude photos and threatening her family, he even put his hands on her. Should I have sympathy for her? This is the highest form of disrespect, for me. Is it unforgivable?
Luke 22:34 says "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." However, I'm have prayed for peace, it is everything but that. So am I'm supposed to shut up and deal with it? No ma'am, I know you lying! The truth shall set you free, and I'm gonna fly high. I'm going all the way down the rabbit hole. It's not what you do, it's how you do it. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. I'm just playing the cards that was delt to me.
My end game is to bring awareness to the situation, for others who are facing similar situations. Being cheated on, is one of the most devastating and damaging things that can happen. It can lead to emotional distress, anxiety, depression, an increase in risk-taking behavior. Gaslighting is a technique that undermines your entire perception of reality. When someone is gaslighting you, you often second-guess yourself, your memories, and your perceptions. Cheating is the beginning of the end.
That's just facts! Nothing good has ever came from cheating, except precious babies. (Yes she is pregnant!) Everybody don't believe in abortions, now do they? "Catch" For most betrayed partners, the lying is at least as painful as the sexual behaviors, and often more painful. While sex is a huge breach of trust, lying feels like an even deeper betrayal. When your partner lies to you, it creates a sense that you cannot know what reality is. There is nothing new under the sun, but this is a different kinda crazy. I would never violate a woman like this. This is a dangerous covert mission to be involved in. It's the psychological abuse for me. It's the switching of the genders for me. She switched the gender roles. I have the receipts for that. People will make you think you are crazy by (GAS LIGHTING) you and that everything is your fault, when they staged and set up the whole production, while convincing you the total opposite. They be lying and crying at the same damn time. It can not only affect your self-esteem and self-worth, it can also affect the way you treat those around you. Built-up anger, bitterness, or hurt can show itself in how you act around the people you encounter. It's the manipulation of the mind for me, the mixing of truth and lies at the same time, leaving me to pick the bones out so I won't choke. It's the deceit for me! The level of how far someone would go to make you believe them, is inconceivable! Not to mention, the threat to harm you, and come for your livelihood and want you dead. Betrayal is when someone you trust breaks that trust by doing something that hurts you. They might justify their actions by blaming you for not showing them enough affection or not seeming to care about them anymore. Then they will assassinate your character by telling lies and making it seem like you are the bad guy, and made all this stuff up, and people believe it. It yanks your sense of security right out from under you and puts you in a state of emotional free fall. I will be talking about my struggle with this, to bring awareness, and moral support. If I could look her in her eyes right now, I'd spit in her face and say "your relieved of your duties so depart from me, I NEVER knew you, now gone get up out of here."
We should never ever let someone make you feel like we are less than, and hard to love. Let's take action together! Let's start to support each other, and start speaking out about this kind of thing, it doesn't matter if your, heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, or gay, don't let anybody silence you. I'd rather step on my own heart and break it than be used. I want to create change, no matter how big, or small, and changing one's thinking is how that happens. I like deference of opinions, that's how we grow. This is only the beginning, thank you in advance, be encouraged.