Kids Will Be Kids by kingfishers_game

Chapter 18: If Not for Idiots Who Walk into Obvious Traps,

We Wouldn't Have Horror Movies...

"It's hot," said Kagura.

"So hot," agreed Sougo.

"Really hot," said Kamui.

In another life, Kamui might have been the outdoorsy type. Hiking, hunting, fighting with bears in the forest—sounded like good times to him. In another life, maybe he would like the wilderness. But in this life? He was a Yato, and Yato just weren't outdoorsy. Well, maybe Kagura was, but she was a freak of nature. Kamui had no idea how Kagura could stand living on a sunny planet like Earth—only a little more than a day had passed since they'd left the clearing where Kagura was revived, and Kamui was already miserable. Whose idea had it been to leave his umbrella back where he'd first landed his escape ship? Oh right, it was my idea.

It was so goddamn bright.

The three of them were hiking through the thinning woods away from the capital in the direction of a mountain range where a Harusame base was supposed to be located. They'd hiked through the night, taking intermittent naps, but they couldn't stay in the forest forever. Besides, the amount of wild game that had been unlucky enough to stumble across their path wasn't nearly sufficient to feed either Yato. For Sougo's part, he'd been wary of drinking too much of the river water. An old pirate base wasn't much in the way of civilization, but it was better than nothing.

Sougo hadn't been a fan of the night travel, knowing the two Yato were infinitely more comfortable in the moonlit dark than he was, but even he had to admit the heat was intolerable as they made their piteously slow hike through the sunshine-soaked woods. Sadaharu led the way, carrying their belongings on his back while the three of them attempted to stick under patches of shade.

"No," said Kagura, "I mean, it's way too hot, uh-huh."

"Can't be helped," Sougo replied, fanning himself with his hand. "This part of Oukoku is in the height of summer."

"The sun in this solar system is stronger than most places," Kamui said as he wiped sweat off his forehead.

"No," said Kagura with barely-restrained annoyance. "I mean, why the hell are you both under MY umbrella!?" Sandwiched between her brother and Sougo under the limited shade of the parasol, she attempted to push both men out of the way only to be held fast by two hands on her shoulders. Those two—! "Get your own shade, uh-huh! Sadist, you're an Earthling—you don't even need to be out of the sun."

Sougo just pressed closer to Kagura's side so his other shoulder wasn't sticking out of the circle of shade. "I sunburn easily. Feel free to kick out the space criminal, though—I'm in the mood for fried rabbit."

On Kagura's other side, Kamui locked his arm around hers so she couldn't push him into the sun. "Sharing is caring, little sister."

"Stop touching me, both of you!" Kagura struggled in vain to dislodge herself from the two last people she wanted to share her umbrella with. "Kamui, use your hood, uh-huh! Don't be so familiar with me!"

"Sorry, but it's too hot for Onii-chan to wear a cape," Kamui laughed, ignoring Kagura's indignant yowl as he tugged her away from Sougo in hopes of securing more shade on his side.

Undeterred, Sougo put his arm around Kagura's shoulders and pulled her back toward him, re-centering the umbrella. Kagura jabbed at his ribs. "What're you doing? Trying to to cop a feel, uh-huh?"

"As if," Sougo drawled. "I like girls with big tits. Look at yourself. You're not 19 anymore, China, and you've got nothing that interests me."

Kagura stomped on Sougo's foot, earning a loud curse from him and another laugh from Kamui. "Shut up, you do-S bastard! Gin-chan says only men with big Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannons get girls with big boobs. I bet you're a virgin at 19, uh-huh."