Stronger- #Wattys2019

Part 46

"And where in the hell have you been?" Markus questioned as Nadine returned to the palace after her run.

She was honestly surprised to see him there. The alpha families had all left already. Or so she thought.

The confusion must have been plastered on her face as his shoulders sagged with the tension leaving and his deep breath escaped as a sigh of relief before he spoke again. "I had hoped to see you before I left, and was informed you had run off. I couldn't leave without knowing you were safe. But no one would tell me anything."

The future queen nodded her head. She hadn't meant to worry him, and felt guilty that she had missed the alpha departures, leaving Markus to worry. "Everything has worked itself out."

"No. Nothing is worked out." He growled. "I can't leave you with that..." his words trailed off as he tried to not openly insult the king. "I'm not leaving you with a mate who chases you off, or worse."

Though it still remained difficult to look at the man, his concern was a welcome gift. She had fought him every step of the way as he took on the role of a father figure in her life. And she had never truly welcomed it. However, things were changing. She was changing. She was finally starting to come out of the shadows of her past. Whether she wanted all of the change in her life or not, it happened. People knew. They knew who she was and what she had been through. She didn't need to hide out of fear of them learning the truth. And with more time in her wolf, she was gaining a connection to that side of herself, not desperately trying to bottle up the instincts and rage. Slowly, she was starting to find some inner balance. Even her wolf was slowly starting to respect the alpha in front of her.

Lifting her head, she offered Markus a small smile. "He has accepted me. I accepted him. All we can do is try."

Fingers ran through his disheveled hair. "Nadine..."

"I'll be alright Alpha Markus. I appreciate your concern. You have always been good to me, even when I could not be good to you in return. But this is a journey that I need to navigate on my own."

He dropped his head. "Don't just accept him and try to push yourself into something you aren't ready for. You deserve so much more than you have received from him."

"I'm not rushing into anything. I promise."

"Alpha Markus." The king's voice boomed from down the hall as he approached.

The Bosch alpha stiffened at the greeting. He knew not to say anything out of anger, but damn was it difficult to not try to rip a new asshole into the king.

"Nadine." Alexander tilted his head to his mate once he came to a stop. "Am I interrupting?"

"Sort of." Nadine replied, her brow rose slightly as she looked up at the new edition to the room. "Did you need something?"

For once, Alexander didn't bristle at her lack of submission or deference to his title, he merely sighed out of the lack of warmth in her greeting. He knew it would take time to earn her trust, yet, it still hurt. Such thoughts only served to flare his own guilt out of how he had treated her in the days prior. He truly had been a cold and distant bastard. "I was hoping to speak with you alone."

A low growl rumbled from Markus.

Nadine quickly stepped between the two men. "Don't even think about it." She glared at both men. "I won't have you two fight over this. Markus has a right to worry about me, just as you have a right to ask for time to talk."

Amber eyes narrowed on the Bosch alpha. However, he only stared the man down until his wolf submitted to his king.

Rolling her eyes, Nadine pulled Markus to the side. "I told you. I will be alright. Don't go challenging the king because you're angry on my behalf."

He repeated his earlier statement. "You deserve better." Then he begrudgingly left the two mates alone.

Alexander watched the man leave before he looked at his mate again, she stood her ground with her arms crossed and frustration on her face, just waiting for him to explain why he was there. Not one ounce of submission, ever.

It was only in getting to know the silver haired she-wolf that he realized how all the red flags had been there with Claudia before. Claudia would have never stood her ground in such a way. She was always submissive to Alex. She showed confidence and pride, however, she remained submissive. She had never truly been his equal and her wolf knew it.

Reaching into his back pocket, the king pulled out a cellphone. "I'm sure you have one of your own." He handed it to Nadine. "However, I wanted to give this to you before I have to leave. I have the number saved and you are free to use it however you want. I was just thinking that I could try to call you when I have a free moment here or there. Maybe a chance to just talk, get to know one another. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. But I would like a chance to get to know you."

The new black phone was top of the line and in pristine condition. Nadine supposed the king would have the latest and greatest at his disposal. "I'm not sure I'm good at chit chat."

"Neither am I really." He smiled softly.

He was rather handsome when he smiled. Sort of. Nadine didn't know what to do with his attempts. Hell, she didn't even know how to have a friend let alone a mate. It was all new. And she still had so many walls, distrust, fears, and more.

"Nadine, I really am sorry for everything." Alex started again, trying to break the awkwardness between them.

She shook her head, silver grey hair tossed along her shoulders. "Stop apologizing."

"Then please tell me what I can do to make things up to you." He needed to do something to make up for his failures.

With a slow breath, she compiled her thoughts. "I don't want you to try. I don't want fake. I don't want short term efforts that are not you. I just need to get to know the real you. If that is nothing but walls and defensiveness, manipulation, and control; then I can learn and go from there. If there is truly more to you than that, then I need to see that."

He understood her hesitations, but he didn't like the idea of her 'go from there' statement. "Why did you accept me?" The question was out before he fully processed it in his head. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness."

Grey eyes watched his face for a moment, watched his barely visible shame, guilt, and fear. She knew he was scared, but she had to be honest. "I have not forgiven you yet. My head can understand that you were hurt and defensive like I can be. I can't even imagine how deep that betrayal felt, learning that everything you thought you felt had been a trick of magic. Not being able to trust your heart, your mate, your instincts, your bond..." She shook her head.

"You suffered far worse."

"Trauma isn't a competition. Stabbing your foot isn't as extreme as cutting off your foot. However, knowing that does nothing to change the reaction when it is stabbed. You still jerk and scream from the pain. You still react to being near the circumstances of the injury in both cases." Her eyes looked straight into his. "I understand it in my head. If magic was used once before to make you think you had a mate bond, feeling another mate bond would be enough for you to fear it was a trick again. I get that. I understand the reasons for your fears and assumptions." Her eyes closed as she took a deep breath. "But just as you react from those triggers, so do I. And you walked right into mine. You showed me what you are capable of. Reactions aren't just about logic. They are deep, and powerful, without thought or control. It doesn't matter what my head understands. Trust is deeper and harder to reach. It will take time. Time we wouldn't have at all if we didn't stop hurting each other and try. That is why I accepted you." Once again her eyes found his. "I wouldn't be the hypocrite to expect you to open up and try, while I allow both of our wolves to suffer and drain us both along the way. But I am warning you. I won't ever submit. I won't be the broken little girl who falls for sugary promises and hopes this time will be different. You get this one chance. You won't get another."

With that, Alexander watched as his future queen turned and walked away from him.

It hurt to hear her words. However, he understood. And his inner wolf puffed up in pride for the strength she showed.

Nadine Grey was a queen.