this story is inspired by Olivia Rodrigos' songs ig
TW: SUICIDE!
"God I wished that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you" Was the last thing I remember saying to her before I lost her. Forever. Everything happened so fast. She was at the top of the building, with tears in her eyes. Only if I had gotten there sooner, she would still be here , with me, smiling as I place soft kisses on her cheeks. I miss her. She had a whole life in ahead of her. We made dumb little promises that we would move out of this shit town, far away as possible. We promised each other that we would always be there for one another, 'til death do us part. I feel as if it's all my fault. My fault that she's no longer here. My fault that her damaged lifeless body was laying on the hard concrete floor. My fault over all that she had killed herself. All that happened nearly 2 months ago. I'm still wondering why she would do such a thing. Many people loved and appreciated her. People like me, her family, her friends. My parents have put me in therapy and has gotten me a school counsellor. They expect all that shit to help me with everything that happened.
It's been six months since Kairy has passed. I've gotten PTSD from what happened that night. I would have random flashbacks every minute which causes me to have panic attacks and breakdown. I miss her too much. It's gotten to the point where I've fallen into a bad depression. It feels like I'm drowning. A heavy blanket, silencing my screams, dulling my senses, tightly wrapping me in a suffocating embrace. I'm literally fighting for my life. I'm trying my best to get out of here, but it feels like something is pulling me back in there. I hate that I'm feeling this way. I want to scream my lungs out and let all my emotions that I've bottled up in the past six months all out of my system.
I'm sitting at me and Kairys' favourite place. I've been sobbing for about one hour, to the point my chest hurts when I breathe. I'm thinking about all my memories that I've have with her. All out sad and happy memories. I miss her too much man, my heart aches every time I think about her. I still can't accept the fact that she's gone, I always imagine that she's somewhere really beautiful and peaceful, having the time of her life. Basically enjoying herself. I'm in a state where I wanna runaway far far away from this town, like me and Kairy promised each other before she passed away that ended all her pain. I've told my parents about everything that been going on and their response was "Stop seeking attention, she's dead, 6 feet underground, get over it" So I've stopped opening up to people. Even my therapist. My favourite memories with her was those car rides to Malibu, Strawberry ice cream one spoon for the both of us and trading jackets, laughing about how small hers looked on me. I want to tell you a little about Kairy. She raised her brothers on her own. Her parents hated who she loved. She couldn't wait to go to college and she was tired because she was brought into a world where family was merely blood. i wish she knew how proud I am she was created. With the courage to unlearn from all of their hatred. I know that she's gone but I just gotta say. "I love you and I hope that you're okay"
These will probably be my last few words. But I can't take it anymore, I just can't. I miss her too much. Besides, once my parents see my dead, lifeless body hanging from the ceiling, they'll still think I'm seeking attention. I'm honestly sorry. But everything must come to an end right? Now go read other book, because this one has ended.
Ok but like I actually like this one tbh
692 words!
