Neither Here, Nor There

1

Elementary school was the highlight of my educated life. No tests, no agenda, no stress. Then came high school. Four years of excruciating pain. Teachers were forever frazzled and yelling at students who didn't want to be there. Three of my friends bailed junior year. But I didn't. I stayed.

Graduation was a memorable event. The most memorable event. Come to think of it, it was the only memorable event.

Flashback~

I was sitting outside in my yellow graduation robe. Only God knows why the school would choose yellow. Do they fully understand how ugly everyone looks in yellow? My head was beginning to itch because of the cap that was sitting on my head.

The valedictorian of our class gave their speech. It was long, and only briefed over some sentimental shit that had happened over the past four years. And then the ending of the speech was just kissing the ass of the vice principal and principal. How lovely.

Getting our diplomas was a blur. I mean, we got handed pieces of paper which would hang on our wall and then soon be forgotten.

When we threw our caps in the air, they fell like the tears that were streaming from our parents faces. And some other peoples faces.

'I will miss you!' And 'keep in touch!' Rang through the air and I tried my best not to roll my eyes. My eyes scanned the crowd for the one person I knew wouldn't be there.

Of course my eyes did not see them, and rightly so. They had mentioned earlier how sentiment was for weaklings. This time, I could not stop the rolling of my eyes.

"Q, please, try and be happy!" My mother narrows her eyes as she embraces me. "I'm so proud of you."

I grunt my agreement and then break out of her light grasp.

End of flashback~

I suppose now, thinking back on that, the day of my graduation was not very memorable.

A car door slammed, breaking me out of my reverie. Oh yeah, college. I'm going to college. Ew, another four years of sitting in a chair and listening to a teacher lecture.

"Quentin! Hurry up!" My dad yells through the front door. I groan, make my way to the staircase and then stomp down the stairs.

"You ready?" My mom whispers, with tears in her eyes. She wipes her eyes and then takes a shuddering breath.

I nod and then shrug. Running my fingers through my unruly hair, I skip out to the car.

"Don't skip," my father demands. He rolls his eyes and adds, "it makes you look like a girl."

"Dad!" I protest. I flush slightly. I skip, so what? I yank open the back door of the mini van and get in.

"So remember what we told you," my mother begins.

I cut her off before she can get into the topic. "No sex, no drugs, no drunk driving and do my homework."

"No drugs, no drunk driving and do your homework always," my dad amends.

"So you're saying I can have sex?" I ask, grinning.

My mom sighs, and pinches the bridge of her nose. "I told you he would think that way," she mutters to my dad.

"As long as you use protection," my dad supplies.

"Edward!" My mom looks furious now. "I'm not saying he can have sex NOW! I'm just saying like, if in the moment-"

"Yeah I get it," I cut her off. "Don't worry, I'm single, remember?"

"Single for now," my dad teases.

I blush. The last girl I was interested in was when I was a junior in high school. We dated for a while, but then she dumped me. Said I deserved someone better, someone who didn't get caught sneaking out at night, someone who wasn't emo. And before I could tell her how I felt about her, she was gone. The next time I heard about her, she moved to America. Wonderful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"University of Toronto!" My dad announces happily. He pulls into a parking lot where a lot of college students are with their families too.

My parents help me take my bags to the dormitories. Cramming into the elevator, I punch the third floor button. We wait in awkward silence as the elevator slowly creeps up.

33C's door was wooden, with a few scratches here and there. I didn't have a roommate. I didn't want one. Someone had been assigned but then they switched schools.

The interior of the room was cozy but had an empty feel. There was a small kitchenette and a living room-like space parallel from it. Two twin beds stood alone with bedside tables next to them. Off the kitchen there was a small bathroom.

"Home sweet home," I mutter sarcastically.

My mom kisses my forehead and asks me, "do you need any help?"

Before the emotions that had been building up inside me for the past few hours could physically appear, I shake my head vehemently. I will not cry, not now, not ever. Since I was in elementary, I hadn't been able to cry. But now, now things are different. Things might have changed.

My parents pull me in for a bone crushing hug and after a few minutes of awkwardly standing in the middle of the room they pat me on the shoulder and start to leave.

"You can always write to us," my dad says. "Or email or text or call...." He trails off and then leaves abruptly.

My mom offers me a small smile as she follows him, closing the door softly behind her.

"Is it nice having parents?" A voice asks me from one of the beds.

I spin around but see nothing.

"Is it nice?" The voice asks again.

"Who are you?" I ask, my voice trembling slightly.

Silence greeted my question. Silence and the smell of something that stirred some deep memories inside me.