Totentanz

Book 2 Chapter XIII: Hin und Her

Author's Note: My inspiration completely dried up just over half-way through NaNo :( Rather than forcing myself to continue to write, I've decided to end book two with this chapter. It's a very abrupt ending unfortunately :( Later I'll either continue book two once my inspiration returns, or start book three where this one leaves off.

HIN UND HER
German, "back and forth; to and fro; there and back"

Tried to run but my feet were frozen
Tried to scream but there was no sound
-- Blackmore's Night, 25 Years

"We need a plan. A proper plan this time, that doesn't involve hunting for the hole in the veil." Karandren thought for a while. "What about setting up some sort of alarm system to alert us as soon as a skrýszel appears? Then we can kill it on the spot before it goes on the rampage."

Diarnlan rolled her eyes. "Yes, because we've done so well against skrýszel before. Remind me how you died most recently."

"But the two of us working together have a better chance of killing them."

"Are you joking or just stupid? We'd kill each other before the skrýszels ever showed up. I've had enough! As soon as we go back I'm running away to the other side of the world, and if any more monsters show up I'm going to kill myself again!"

Karandren stared at her. "...Are you all right?"

What sort of question was that? "No!"

There was a long and awkward silence. Diarnlan lay down, closed her eyes, and tried to go to sleep. She pretended not to know Karandren was giving her an oddly worried look. It was downright hypocritical of him to be worried about someone else's sanity considering the state of his own.

"All right then," he said at last. "We'll both go on holiday."

Diarnlan craned her neck to give him an incredulous look. "We? Why do you think you're coming?"

"Because I didn't enjoy ruling Miavain last time. I don't think I'll try that again. So I need something else to do, and travelling the world will do as well as anything else."

She glared at him. "Travel the world if you want to, but not with me! I hate you and you hate me! It would be a complete disaster!"

Karandren actually had the audacity to throw himself down in the snow beside her. He folded his arms behind his head and stared up at the stars as he spoke. "Yes, I hated you. I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me. Because you did hurt me, you know. I understand why now -- you're just a cruel bastard to everyone, including yourself--"

"Hey!"

"--but it doesn't change the fact that I was a child who didn't understand why his teacher hated him so much. Between the two of us, I think you started out as the most guilty."

Diarnlan found she couldn't argue with that. It left a bitter taste in her mouth. "What do you want? An apology? Don't you think it's a bit late for that?"

"Yes."

Silence fell for a long time. Diarnlan watched the stars move back and forth overhead. They didn't follow any of the paths that real stars did.

Abruptly Karandren broke the silence. "I don't hate you any more."

It took a minute for his words to register with Diarnlan. Then she sat bolt upright. "What do you mean you don't hate me? I killed you! You kidnapped me!"

There were very few constants in the time-loop, but Diarnlan had thought there were some things she could rely on. The sun would rise and set every day. The tide would come in and go out. And Karandren hated her as much as she hated him. Now he'd thrown that certainty into disarray. It was as shocking as if she'd seen the sun rise in the west or the sea cease to move.