Forever And Always

•chapter 11• goodbye? Forever?

*PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE END*
•Delirious POV•
I open my eyes fully to see Evan looking straight at me.
His eyes held anger, guilt and confusion.
"What's this?" He asks
I looked over to his hand holding the iPhone, showing the picture of me and him holding hands.
Fuck.
"I...um...uh...well..." I stutter.
There was a good 5 minutes silence until he got out of bed and went downstairs.
Is he angry?
Is he sad?
Is he happy?
Relieved?
Will he have a go at me?
*time skip*
It's his last day, well their last day here and he chose to ignore me.
Yes, ignore me.
It got to the point where he wouldn't even make eye contact.
Over the past week or so hardly anything happened. only the odd few things like getting a boyfriend who now ignores me but other than that, nothing.
I guess we chose to do nothing.
All I want to do is hug him, kiss him, love him, and it's like he's built an invisible wall to stop me from doing anything which involves him.
All I have to do is tell him the truth and then I can do whatever I want with him before he leaves.
What if we fight?
No. I should stick to the positive.
*time skip*
It's evening and everyone is upstairs packing or doing something.
Evan already packed and we are sat cross-legged opposite each other on the floor.
I stared at the floor; finding it more interesting than anything else.
"So what was that photo about" Evan asked, breaking the awkward silence between us.
He was staring at me. watching my every move. for the first time today.
"Well...when we were at Pax, a fan of yours may or may not have took a photo of us holding hands" I reply sighing afterwards.
"and.."
This time I looked straight into his chocolate brown eyes which were filled with...slight anger?
"And I didn't think she would post it on social media" I said quickly.
I broke from under his gaze and fiddled with my thumbs. I was nervous. very nervous.
"Well guess what, she did!" Evan said sarcastically
He was angry.
Is he blaming me?
It's not my fault and never was.
"Well I'm not the one who asked if we could hold hands and I'm not the one who took the photo, so don't have a go at me, alright" I snapped.
I didn't mean to say it so angrily.
"Says the one who didn't stop her! My whole career could be ruined because of that one fucking photo!"
Evan shouted.
"So now your saying it's wrong to be gay in public or on YouTube and I couldn't do fucking anything because of my identity. plus, your trying to tell me now, after we got together, that YouTube is more important than the ones you love and your boyfriend! You know what go upstairs, I'm tired of your shit!"
With that I sighed as he got up and went upstairs.
Then I realised everyone heard the whole argument and now everyone knows.
He's fucking leaving tomorrow and that happened.
My eyes started to tear up and I let them fall because you know what?
Right now I have no fucks left to give.
*time skip*
I woke up with tear stained cheeks and sore eyes.
Today everyone leaves.
I get up and go to the kitchen to find multiple suitcases and Brock making coffee.
"Morning" I say, my voice raspy and dry from crying.
"I guess you two aren't a thing? also, everyone found out and they're happy for you. Apart from the argument."
I sighed and said
"To be honest, I don't know. all he did was walk out because I told him I was tired of his shit."
Then Vanoss appeared, ready to leave. his flight was earlier and longer.
"Morning" he said
"Morning, I guess you going then" I reply.
I was about to cry again. even though we fought, I still love him.
He nodded and pulled me in for a hug, instead I kissed him passionately on those lips I've craved, tears running down my cheeks.
We pulled away and he walked out the door.
No words said.
No emotions shown.
"Goodbye, love you" I said
"Bye" he plainly replied
"Forever?" I mumbled
He looked at me and shrugged.
Is he still mad?
He didn't even say 'i love you' or anything.
He just shrugged.
What's wrong with him?
He got in his taxi and drove off.
Not crying.
Not waving.
Nothing.
I closed the door behind me and sunk down to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest, crying and sniffling.
Mini came up to me and asked
"You ok?"
In reply I got up and hugged him. tightly. sobbing quietly into his chest.
"He doesn't love me" I whispered.
He gave up.
I gave up.
We weren't meant to be like I thought we were.
"He never said that. just give him time and you'll see" Craig said
How fucking long though?
He'll never come back. ever.
Mini pulled away as I fake smiled.
"Thanks" I whispered
He got his bags and left along with everyone else.
"Skype me later" moo said
"Ok" I replied
"Byeee" they all said
"Bye, I'll talk to you guys later" I said, trying to stay happy.
Then they left.
I close the door and run upstairs to my room.
I lie on my bed. face in the pillows. sobbing.
It smelt like him.
This is what happens when you mess with a sensitive person's feelings. they break down. they become weak and can't do nothing about it.
Will we ever talk again?
I need to talk to CaRtOoNz.
•••••••••••
Ok, so this is your choice:
Do you want me to make a separate book based on what happens after which means that the end is the next chapter. that means that it is more set out so it makes more sense.
OR
do you want what happens next part of this book. I can try to make it mix in with this but it won't be as organised.
YOUR CHOICE. COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK!
Anyway, sorry if it's long.
Thanks for 2.9k reads!
Hope you enjoyed!
Love you all,
Byeeeeeeeeexx🐳🐳