"Lindsey?" He could hear her voice quivering through the phone, "What is it, Steph... What's gotten into you?"
"Lindsey, I need you to come over here, I need to talk to you." "It's important." She added after he didn't respond immediately.
He was starting to worry. Lindsey had no idea how serious this was or what this meant for his future. He had no idea that what Stevie had to say would tear him apart.
Lindsey Buckingham arrived at Stevie's house at 7:30, just like he said he would. She opened the door and flung herself at him. She was hysterical. Something is seriously wrong, he thought.
"Stevie... Steph... STEPHANIE! For Christ's sake look at me!"
She tentatively raised her head, barely seeing him through her tears. "Now, come sit down and tell me what's going on, angel." She obeyed and followed him to her sofa. The house was unusually cold and dark. There were no candles, no incense burning, no music playing, the piano was shut and her journal lay on the floor - she had clearly thrown it. She drew a long shaky breath and Lindsey took her hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze.
"Lindsey... I've... I've just been diagnosed with leukemia. I have two months!!" She burst into fits of tears again, barely catching her breath. He sat there, throat constricted. Lindsey could not speak, eventually he took her in his arms and held her. "Stevie... I - Oh my God " he barely chokes the words out and begins to cry with her. "I'm so sorry Stephanie, oh I'm so so so sorry!" They sit like this for hours, Lindsey stops crying first, he needs to be strong. If he has confidence that the cancer will go into remission, Stevie will be more confident and - well who knows...
"Shh... It's okay... It's gonna be okay... I'm here, sweetheart," he soothed her. Stevie's wails muffled to occasional quiet whimpers and she built up the courage to look at him. His face was red and puffy, eyes swollen. "Lindsey, Th-," he interrupted her with a soft kiss.
"Stev - Stephanie, I'm here for you. No," he said firmly when she began shaking her head, "I am here for you. Whatever you need. You know that I would go to the ends of the earth for you, right? I love you."
Stevie sighs, "You know I love you too..."
"You sound unsure..."
"I wanted a baby real bad - I had one, Linds. I wish she was here right now. You and Daddy let them take her from me, why did you do that...?"
"Oh Stevie, I'm so sorry, how many times do I have to apologize? I'm sorry, we were poor, Stevie, we spent whatever money we earned on coke - we would have been terrible parents then..." Stevie glares at him for awhile, overcome with resentment, but realises that he is right, they were a mess back then.
"... Can I get you anything..?"
He began to rise from the sofa but Stevie placed a hand on his thigh to halt him. "No, just hold me, okay?" He obliged. They positioned themselves comfortably on the black leather sofa. Stevie lay curled on top of his outstretched legs, her head resting on his chest, she listened to the steady beat of his heart. He drew small circles on her sides and Stevie felt herself drifting...
Lindsey stayed in that position for two hours after she fell asleep. He was getting a little uncomfortable and decided to carry her upstairs to her room, getting up without waking her was proven to be more than a little challenging but he succeeded. Getting her upstairs and into to bed was a lot easier but he was then faced with the dilemma of leaving her and sleeping on the sofa or climbing into bed with her... There was absolutely no winning with this woman, so it didn't really matter, he was wrong either way. He decided that the right thing to do in this situation was to leave her be but he ignored his head and followed his heart into bed with her. He stretched he arms around her waist, found her hand and laced his fingers through hers. He fell asleep within minutes.
Lindsey was the first to wake and so he went on down and made her some coffee and French toast. When the were together back in 72', Stevie did all the cooking, but Lindsey's grown up since then. Stevie thumped down the stairs, confused and not knowing how exactly she got up there in the first place.
"Morning, beautiful," Lindsey grabs her from behind and kisses her neck.
"Linds, I woke up this morning and forgot. I heard you down stairs making breakfast and for the first time in my life, I felt well rested and excited to be awake. Then I remembered why you were here and my prognosis and -, " she was beginning to cry before Lindsey interrupted her. "Hm... Steph, sweetheart let's not go there right now," Lindsey clears up after breakfast and takes Stevie into his arms."We are going to make the most of these two months, okay? Just me and you and well, whoever else you want, I love you," and before she could protest, he walked away and placed a CD into her stereo, skiped a few tracks and adjusted the volume. The intro to Say You Will played and he twirled her into his embrace. "Dance with me Steph.." She relaxed and allowed him to take the lead, just this once ...
"... Say you will, Say you will give me one more chance at least give me time to change your mind, that always seems to heal the wounds, if I can get you to dance..." He whispered into her hair.
They seemed to sway around the room for what felt like an eternity until Stevie collapsed in Lindsey's arms.
Lindsey wasted no time in calling an ambulance. They arrived within minutes and whisked her away. "This is not happening. FUCK!" He yelled as he pounded his fists against the wall. He ran upstairs to her room and packed some pajamas, underwear, deodorant and and her journal to take with him to the hospital, and tried with every fiber to hold it together.
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Should I keep writing? I am so sorry about this, by the way!!
-Katie xx
