When Lindsey wakes, the bed is cold and for a second, He thinks that she got up, but she didn't. Her cold hands and still coiled in his, her body curled up next to him. "Stevie...?"
"... Angel...?"
"Come on Steph, quit playing around!!"
"STEPHANIE, WAKE UP!"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET UP STEPHANIE!!"
She's dead. Stephanie's dead. He pulls his hand away and stumbles off the bed. He tries to stand but his legs are numb, He curls up on the floor and does the only thing you can do when your best friend dies. He cries. Lindsey's tears are hot and painful as the well in his eyes, but that sting is nothing compared to what he's feeling in his chest.
He musters the courage to look at her. Her small, pale figure lying still on the bed. She looks as though she's asleep, that at any minute, his beautiful, enigmatic Stevie, the woman whom he loves more than his own life, will open her eyes and tell him she loves him, will wake up and tell him it's just a bad dream, but she doesn't and it isn't. He stumbles again to her limp body and takes her hand in his. He's still startled by how cold she is. This is my fault... If I hadn't taken her away... He raises his other hand and begins caressing her hair. Lindsey's tears are falling freely on her skin, running down along her cheeks.
There's a note on her dresser, he picks it up.
Dearest Lindsey,
You have made these past few days so much easier, I couldn't have gone on without you. You made me who I am today, you've dealt with my tantrums, you've dealt with my ego, you've dealt with me. I am so grateful for all that you've done, I still have no idea how you still love me after all these years, but Lindsey, for what it's worth, I love you too. I've loved you from day one. I'm sorry I kept pushing you away and I'm sorry that I made you leave all those years ago. I'd like to think that we would have gotten married and had another child or two, if things had worked out differently. You are my soulmate.
Goodbye.
Yours always,
Stevie x
She's gone.
This wasn't how it was supposed to end.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Stephanie Lynn Nicks, is the love of my life and will continue to be as long as I live. Our love was what remained after all the songs, heartbreak and tears. Beneath the temerity, versatility and enigma was the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on, beneath all that again was a sublime young woman, who fought so fiercely to keep me honest. She was my touchstone, and I miss her dearly.
For all the times that we fought, I'm thankful for how she never stopped loving me.
I love her more than words or lyrics can even begin to explain, I don't think she ever really knew that. I don't think she ever really knew how important she was to me or to anyone else for that matter. She's changed people's lives, she's captivated everyone who's listened to her music, but her laugh was the most memorable part of her, she laughed just as she loved: fiercely.
I want to make her laugh, to make her smile. I know it's hypocritical to turn to the deity in times of despair, but today I'm praying; I'm praying that she's watching me right now and laughing at how stupid I'm being, she always hated flattery... But Stevie wherever you are I just want you to know that I love you." I choke on those last three words.
Christine stands beside the altar and tries to sing songbird but breaks down in violent fits of delirium after three lines, everyone does. Her tiny, pale body lies completely still in the 5'4 box. She's gone. I spent 40 years fighting with her, but I guess you never really know what you had until its lost.
The rest of the day lasts an eternity, but finally I arrive back at our house, it's no longer home because my home was always in Stevie. I walk to her wardrobe and withdraw her shirt and take it to bed with me. For now, I press the only speed-dial on my phone and slide into my spot on the bed. It rings. And rings.
"Hello, you've reached Stephanie Nicks. I'm unavailable at the moment. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."
"I love you." I whisper, and I drift off to sleep believing with every fiber that one day, she will get back to me. I hear her say she loves me too in a voice that is only hers. I can wait. I will wait. She will come back to me.
