chapter 7: Thinking of you

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While I was in Japan, shopping and rehearsing I just remembered that I left someone behind in L.A, someone really special and very important. I started remembering him, and i somehow miss him, I miss him a lot. I shouldn't be missing him because I will just miss him more and I have to be so far from him. Thinking of him is really hard because he's so far from me. Sometimes its scares me a lot because maybe someday he might ask me to break up with me and I dont want that to happen, it will really break my heart. Even though I love people too much, I know whats the right and wrong now, i learned a lesson. 

~FLASHBACK~

I started to think about John,how much I miss him, the days we spent together and the things he tells me. I remembered the days when we went to Santa Barbara. I wanted to tour him around my hometown. I took him to the church where we took pictures together and were romantic with each other. We had a great time and memorable time when I took him to Santa Barbara. I remember at the of the day, when he kissed my hand. I knew that he needed my help from the moment I met him. I wanted to change him, for him to be better. I know from that moment he kissed my hand, he only wasn't proving me and the others that he isn't the douche bag people know as but I know him and I always will. Every each day I spend with him lights up my day, he makes me happy and feel like I am very important. 

 ~END OF FLASHBACK~


The day was about to end and suddenly I had an idea to call John from here in Japan to Los Angeles. I know its expensive but i just miss him so much that my heart will break. It would mean a lot to me if he answers my call even if its already 3:00am there.

When I was already going to dial the number of John, I started to panic and started to change my mind on pressing the call button. I was fucking scared, I didnt know what to do! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"KATY BREATHE!" I told myself shouting

I called Tamra and Johnny for help

Katy: TAMRA!! JOHNNY!! COME HERE!!

Johnny and Tamra: KATY! WHAT IS IT?!?

Katy: Can you help me not to panic to call John?!

Johnny and Tamra: WHAT!?! YOU WERE SHOUTING CAUSE OF THAT!?

Katy: Ummm...... YEAH!

Johnny and Tamra: YOU FUCKING SCARED US!! 

Katy: SORRY! IM JUST PANICING!!

Tamra: OK now! so...............

Katy: Help me what to say to him! 

Tamra: So like this: tell "hi" first then tell him stuff.

Katy: What! Im not going to say that!

Johnny: Just say "hi" to him first and just go with the flow.

Tamra: yeah! 

Katy: OK! but Im still scared!

Tamra: Just keep calm, its John anyways!

Katy: Ok..Ok...

Katy: Can you get out now?! i shouted to them

Johnny and Tamra: OK! sheeesh! Have fun! 

Katy: *giggles!* THANKS! LOVE YOU BOTH!

Johnny and Tamra: We love you too and you're welcome!

Katy: Ok bye! wish me luck.

Tamra: Good luck! 

Johnny: Good luck you pretty gurl!! ILY!

When Johnny and Tamra left, I was still starring at my phone with the number of John. "ok ok! Im going to call so that this will stop" i told myself 

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