Warnings- angst, Sad reader, VERY SAD IN GENERAL
I watched as Bucky took her hand.
Bucky smiled a smile he used to use with me,
If only I had of told him first, maybe things would be different,
Just maybe that would be me.
But no I chicken out and for what?
I lost my chance.
And yet I wish that was me.
Bucky looked at me Smiling like a mad man,
I gave him the best smile I could muster.
This was it.
It was offical he will never be mine, just out of my reach,
Forever.
I looked down shaking my head a tear slipped out of my eye wiping it quickly and discreetly,
I sighed tuning out the rest, until the 'I do's' started being said,
In that very moment all I felt was pain nothing more,
why does this always happen to me?
i really wish I could be happy for them I really do.
But.. I just, it hurts to much.
"I do" he grinned.
If only that was me he was saying it to not her,
That would be my only wish but I couldn't do that to him, he was happy,
Finally. He deserved this,
I looked over in Steve's direction to see Steve staring right back at me giving me a sad smile,
I didn't want pity.
You see everyone knew I was in love with Bucky,
He and Natasha were the only ones oblivious to it.
I looked away from Steve's saddened gaze and looked to the ground feeling like I would cry if I kept looking at him.
Everyone stood up and started clapping,
Laughing sadly I look at Bucky "WOOOO!" I cheered
the now married couple looked at me smiling bashfully
I couldn't help but think why did he choose her? And not me? Am I not good enough.
Again I will have to keep quiet about how much I love him, he may never know about these feelings I have for him,
But thats okay.
Because he'll be happy.
And that's all I want.
His happiness over mine.
So again I will smile through the pain.
Its what im used to.
Because he will always deserve better.
i'd rather have him as a friend than nothing.
Because just having some of him was better than none of him.
So again, i will smile even though deep inside it breaks me to see them together.
I will do it for him, I always will. Till the day I die,
It's what I do best...
MADE BY ME JORDI YESYES
