Glances and Sunsets

Prologue

Prologue

"You're so kind, Eve."

I did not know how to react. Am I? Each day, I try to be nice to everyone, but am I really kind? I have been told I am by the people I interacted with. Was it because I helped them with their errands? Was it my decency? Or was it my silent nature that made them think I am kind?

Watching and reading dramas, and even socializing with people had me realizing that kindness is fragile. I did not want to seem weak. I am not kind. In the society that we live in, a person can only be tagged as 'kind' once. You are kind when you meet their expectations. You are only kind when you are pleasing their egos. The moment you failed them, you are no longer kind. All you will ever be is just someone who they call 'plastic'.

Or maybe that was a lie - my defense mechanism. I do not see myself worthy to be described as kind. I have demons inside. I am not as pure as people think. I had bad intentions. I had bad thoughts. I had irrational actions. I was selfish. I never sincerely cared for the people around me. Or did I?

Back in my college years, whenever I was tasked to make a reflection paper in my Philosophy subject, it would often took me days before I can finish one. It was difficult to contain my thoughts into words. It was hard to even understand the conflicts in my mind. I never understood myself. Until now, I can't.

I let out a sigh, "Not really, Riri."

She playfully rolled her eyes at me and stood from her seat.

"You can't convince me otherwise, Eve." She walked towards me and gave me a brief hug.

"See you at the party!" She waved at me, then left my office.

It is nearing five in the afternoon which means office hour will end in a few minutes. As usual, it was a tiring day. Nothing is new anyway, I had always felt tired my entire life.

I turned off my laptop and fixed some documents on top of the office table and once again took a glance at the time. Time - I would never understand its speed. It feels indefinite. The numbers that tell time felt like a cheat. Time can be fast or slow, regardless of the numbers shown by the clock. Time does not always feel the same.

I blamed time for my stolen childhood. It went too fast for me. It was as swift as the passing wind. Although I had happy memories, it just cannot conceal the truth that the bad ones are dominant.

My hand unconsciously reached for my phone as my mind continued to wander. I saw a message notification.

Stephen: Heard your ex is back, Eve. Thought you would want to know.

I creased my forehead and rolled my eyes internally, or maybe I really did?

Me: I don't have an ex, Stephen.

After sending that, he immediately called me.   What an asshole! Alam ko na kung saan papunta 'tong pag-uusapan namin!

"Really, Virginia?," he chuckled over the line.

I scoffed, "I have no time for your teasing."

"Tell me more about it, Gia." He laughed again. "Oh! Am I allowed to call you that?" His voice told me that he is suggesting something.

"Why not?" I sarcastically asked him.

I know he is your freaking bestfriend, idiot! So what if he is back?!

"Nah, it feels illegal, Eve!" He teased me even more.

"Shut up, asshole!"

I could not deny that his teasing moved me. My chest suddenly ached from the fast and loud pulsating beat. My hand that holds the phone also shook a little. Too much for serious thoughts a while back! He still affects me even without him here. Goodness!