Last First Kiss

I looked at my phone for about the hundredth time to see if you replied. A shimmer of hope appears when I see the cute little message icon at the top. I feel my palms go sweaty and my blood run cold, even though its a sticky, muggy day. But again my hopes raised too high and I realize its not you. Even though its my friend it doesn't matter, nothing matters anymore...I dismiss the message and put my phone down.

I get up and go to the mirror. I look horrible, dreary, droopy. My usually bright, sparkly blue eyes look dull and grey. I try to look myself in the eye but I can't hold my own glance. I look away from the emptiness, my eyes glazed over as if they are somewhere else...

After the endless hours of sadness I decide I'm being stupid. He's not worth any of the tears that seem to be falling endlessly from my sore, tired eyes and dripping down my drowned cheeks. 'You've spent enough time dwelling on the past' I try to tell myself, and I decide to go for a walk.

I see you down the street and lose all control. Its like an instinct deep down in my soul to run to you. I forget all my previous ideas of 'you're being stupid' and 'he's not worth your tears'...he is so worth it! My heart seems to take over from my brain and it soars with passion towards you. It carries me towards you even though my body is exhausted by the amount of thinking and crying I do over you.

Its raining, it smells earthy and natural. It reminds me of when we used to go camping together as kids and it would rain almost every time...you would put your arms around me and talk to me reasurringly; although the sound of your voice gives me butterflies, being held in your arms makes me feel safe, secure, at home. The rain is blurring my vision but I can still see you clearly. I see the way your honey brown hair flops up and down over your forehead as you run to me. I remember the feeling of it, like silk, I could run my fingers through it all day. Even though I know the rain is hitting me drop by drop, I can't really feel it, because my heart feels like it is gong to pump right out of my chest. I can't decide whether I'm getting the shivers run up my spine from the cold rain drops hitting my skin or the liberating feeling of seeing you again.

We finally crash into each other, as soon as our bodies touch I become warm again. That one moment in time stops as we collide and embrace each other. I decide right then and there that I'll never let you go. I savour the moment and snuggle my face into your warm chest, your familiar scent wafts through my body. Your scent is like a drug to me...it makes me dizzy, happy and I forget all my problems.

My heart forgets all the pain you put me through, and now in its place stood pure love and affection towards you.

As your breath touched my skin, my breath was gone in an instant. I look up into your familiar eyes, the warm brown colour that sends sparks through my body and the little yellow specks that make them divine. I could have stared into them for an eternity. My eyes drift over your face. I see the light freckles sprinkled over your cheeks and nose. Then I see your lips, they look so good, so soft, so yummy. I look back into your eyes and see you staring back just as intently at mine, it seems like forever, like you're searching my soul.

You start to lean in, agonizingly slow, my heart reacts quickly and violently...I swear you could hear it. The gap is finally closed as I feel your lips brush against mine. The sensations running through my body are like newly found energy. I get a tingle on my lips where you ever so delicatly brushed against me. Our foreheads touch and I once again get to gaze into your beautiful eyes. I feel your hands slide down my waist and it reminds me of camping with you... I feel safe and secure in your strong arms that are wrapped around my delicate body. I wrap my arms around your neck and hold onto you with all I have in me. Our bodies are pressed tightly against each other and I start to feel something new, something I've never felt for anyone else.

All of a sudden our lips crash against each other, your lips are delicious to taste and the sensations and passion I feel through my body makes my heart soar. I kidd you with all the passion in my soul, trying to show you all the things I cannot say, all the secrets...

Our lips move in perfect sync and at that moment there is no other place I would rather be, or feel more safe.

You have such an impact on me; my heart forgets to beat, my lungs forget to breath, my brain forgets to think. The kiss seemed to last forever, yet it was over too soon.

Our lips break apart and I feel an instant cold wash over me. I feel tingling sensations buzzing through my lips. My spirit seems lifted like im on top of the world, like that feeling you get when you're riding a bike and the wind whips through your hair and amazing feelings flow through your body and lift you up.

Yet I also feel in a daze, and there's nothing in my head except you. I feel strange and dizzy like I'm going to fall. I smile up into your eyes and move my arms from around your neck to your waist. You pull me into a hug and I once again feel the warmth flood into my body.

As I smile up at you, you look down into my eyes.

"I missed you...and I love you"

Your words seem so true to me and before I know what I'm doing I feel the words escaping from my mouth, before I get the chance to think about revealing my secret...

"I love you too"