The Truth About Love

Chapter 4

I stand there looking at myself in the mirror. Clothes lay all over the floor and bed. I'm confused, my mind is a blur and I can't seem to focus my thoughts, I dig through a pile of clothes and pull out a shirt and tie, I desperately put them on and rush into a pair of trousers. As I struggle to fit into my pants my phone rings, I pick it up and answer, it's Kaiana, a smile smears my face as I hear her voice echoing inside my ears and soothing my being. I day dream for a bit but snap back into reality in time to hear her saying she can't make it again because her brother was ill. The line cuts and I feel like utter shit because I know for a fact that Kaiana is an only child! I start questioning myself; "what the hell did you do?" "Maybe she got a whiff of reality and doesn't want to see your lame ass?" "She was always out of your league anyway why did you even think you could be something?" My sub conscience continues to attack me eating away at the sheer membrane that is my self esteem. I throw myself onto my bed and scream in my mind; "WHY THE HELL ARE GIRLS SO COMPLICATED, FUCK!" I drift into a deep sleep as my thoughts continue to hurt me emotionally. That night the world seemed to hurt me, my dreams the one place of wonder and happiness turned into a nightmare shrouded with darkness and one that breathed eternal misery. This was no dream of a white rabbit and a world of mystery and wonder, it was a dream of pain, losing everything and falling to pieces, I see Kaiana more beautiful than ever and then I see her in the arms on another guy, he's tall, ripped and his voice coos her a lullaby that seems to have her mesmerised, I look down on my self, i'm covered in dirt and wrapped in torn up garments and I feel like shit. I watch Kaiana continue to be swooned by the mysterious man as his face unidentifiable. Colours of beauty encompassed them as their lips locked, I see a tear now, a tear of brutality, failure, misery and every other feeling that can make you feel like shit. One single tear that seems to hold my mere existence falling down my cheek. It touches the floor and my body begins to disappear as though evaporating, I begin to scream as the cold wind rushes through me taking pieces of me as it goes. I wake up to my mothers voice. She's standing over me I can see her lips moving but I cannot hear her. Suddenly my senses kick in, I hear her yelling "Hunter, Hunter sweetie wake up" I look at her, she watches me, I open my mouth, "What happened?" She looks at me with all the concern and love a mother could possibly possess, "You had a bad dream you were yelling and your body was twitching, I thought you were having a nervous break down!"

As I hear these words I think to myself "Can a girl really do this, one day make you feel like a king and the other day make you want to end it all. Guys always get blamed for heart break and pain and hurting girls, but girls are ice cold, they can hurt you in ways you've never imagined. That's the thing about being a guy, once you fall in love you keep falling until you're broken into a million tiny pieces that nothing could ever fix.
Often times its depicted that a girl gets the wrong end of a heart break but that just isn't true, the girls has her friends to comfort her, she has her beauty that she could find another man easily and she simply knows how to put up a front , but a guy when writhing in pain cannot go to his buddies and cry without being seen as weak or 'gay' because society objectifies emotions of a man as a sign of weakness, secondly pain is masked by anger so its pretty easy to see when a man is hurting. Yet society deems the man as wrong and weak.

Anyway enough ranting.... I should save that for the rest of the story.

I wake up to the blaring of an alarm, my head is pounding and my stomach hurts I'm hungover on love, worse than being drunk might I add, I look at my phone "5 new messages, 7:15am"
I open the message: Kaiana hey you good? Let's go out tonight...pick you up @7 "
I stare at the screen and in my mind I say okay? How the hell can I possibly okay, ugh you cause me so much pain it makes me sick to my stomach!
That right there is a reality of love, you're infatuated by it, and enter a magical world of sweetness but eventually the sweetness becomes overbearing and a bitter taste develops and your stomach clenches and a horrid sickness comes over you.

Back to reality typing...okay see you @7.

Wish me luck tonight , I need to stake my claim before it become too late and I lose Kaiana.

Chat soon.
-Hunter