To My Almost

Prologue

Scarlett's POV

Im staring outside the window of my house, sipping a hot coffee. The bittersweet linger on my throat down to my nerves keeping my mind alive. I'm still doubting about my decisions if this is okay if this is all I want if I make the right decision.

I look at the ring in my hands, playing it. I look around and see the white long gown. I stand up and walk in its way. I caress it, feeling the cloth against my hand. A single tear fall. Did I do a good choice? Is this all I want?

"Are you ready?" My mom ask me, my friends are also here, they are already in their outfits. I don't know. Am I ready for this?

As I wear the white gown, holding a bouquet. I wish to give me a time, they grant it right away. I held the necklace she gave me. Looking outside the window up to the sky. I contain my tears because they will ruin my makeup.

I take a deep breath before I held the knob and twist it. I greet by the people who are smiling at me. They are happy for me but to myself? I don't know.

I get into the car, glancing outside. I want to run away, but I can't find myself to do so. I want to run away and go to her arms,  but I can't. I want to hold her hands and seal her lips with mine. I want to do it, but I made a promise.

I'm outside the church waiting for it to open. Is this all I want? Is this all I need? But her is my necessity.

As the door open, I saw him waiting for me at the altar. I let my tears fall, not because I love him but because he's not the one I want to marry.

I slowly walk to the aisle. Taking one step at a time. I feel my limbs want to stop my tracks. My heart debating to my mind. My heart is telling me to go to her, but my mind says this is the right choice.

I didn't notice I'm standing beside him. He's crying and smiling at me. I give him my fake smile. I look back hoping she gets here and gets me out of here.

As the ceremony goes on, my heart is scattered around the place. I want to fly to her, I want her.
I need her.

"Whoever is opposed to this marriage will speak now" the father announced. We wait, I wait for her to stand up and fight for me. To get me, to be with me.

I have nothing to do but to wish that she save me from this. I have nothing to do but to accept the fact, she's my almost.

"Scarlett, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live? The father asks. I take my time then people around me start to whisper something. I look at him, patiently waiting for my answer.

"I do, Father"

"Colin, do you take this woman to be your wife, to live together in (holy) matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?" The father asks Colin. 

He smiles at me, "I do, Father."

My heart aches, the only person I want to answer is her. Only her.

"I pronounce you, husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." The father announces. Tears now fall uncontrollably, I can't help but find myself missing her lips, her touch that's burning my soul with passion and care. I can't help but find myself missing every inch of her. Only her.

As the party goes I didn't enjoy it. I want to go home and sleep alone in my bed. I want to escape this toxic place I'm in. 

"I'm sorry you have to choose me. I don't want to force with this, but we don't have a choice. I'm staying in the guest room, I let you sleep alone as long as you want. He said and open the door of my room. I go inside, I cry. I miss her.

I get the hoodie she left me, she knows I loved that hoodie, it smells like her. I wear it, feeling like she's hugging me. I sniff the piece of clothing and sob.

The memory of yesterday played like a film in my head, our laughs, and her giggles covered my eardrums. The sounds made my stomach flutter, butterflies roaming around tickling every organ of my body.

Her touch gave me goosebumps, burning my soul with affection. Her eyes tell me everything I should know, her mouth kiss every flaw of my body securing me that I'm worth it and perfect. Her ears listened to my non-stop rants about my day and never judge me. Her tongue tastes every mistake, the bittersweet ending, the result of my love.

Every fiber of her being is so good for me, perfectly fit. So good to be true. Then the universe middle our love. Torn us apart.

I can't do anything but accept the fact, that at least in very short time, I called her mine. At least I feel her love, her care, and everything I deserved. I just feel her.

Almost is never enough. She's my almost.