Sensation Touch

The Truth

Its been a couple of months since the tragedy of my friend being brutally beaten, and still, I'm not sure if it's even safe for all of us to even show our faces in public, now that someone is targeting us, Mason, and Andre moved into Malik's so he wouldn't be alone, it's a shame that we have to live in the shadows now, I just want to cry, but I have to be strong for my friends and our reputation that we build on this school, whoever done this will be stopped and put in jail for it, that's for damn sure, but right now I can't focus on that I have to stay focus on my school work, and these upcoming events, that we have to attend too.

I, Wes, and Andre left our classes early and went to the store to get ready for our daily meetings, lately, these meetings have not been the same, and school has just been not exciting as it used to be, with Malik being out of school until the investigation is over, and we have our very own bodyguard, we don't have any privacy like that anymore, but Wes, and Andre they love the idea, I just think it's a waste of space and time, although my bodyguard is cute, I'm just tired of men right now, all men I thought I never say that in all my years of being gay, but with what has happened I'm just over everything, I just want to focus on school and graduating, and earning my degree in psychology, helping other people with there problems, and giving them advice, and solutions.

3rd period came around, I walked into class and the teacher wasn't there so the class was just communicating amongst each other while I sat there dozing off when I woke up the classroom was empty, and dark, I slept through the entire day, I must have been tired, I gathered up my stuff and proceeded out the door when I felt someone walking behind me, so I quickly dropped my stuff, and got ready for a fight, but there was no one behind me so I turned back around and there was the half-naked man, looking down at me, I scanned him, and meet his eyes, and it hit me, Zaquay, I gasped, and back away from him, he smiled, and stepped forward, I stood in place,  my feet couldn't move, just like at the hospital, after what he told me, I don't see him in that way anymore. How could I still be attracted to the guys who beat up, my Malik, and how can I be friends with Malik when he was fucking Zaquay when we broke up? When I look at him, all I can see is Malik and him having sex like I was there watching them, my heart wanted to break, but I can show emotion, I have to be strong, I looked at him, and stepped closer to him stopping him in his tracks, he looked like he wanted to say something, but I didn't want to hear him, so I walked passed him, but he grabbed my arm I could tell he has gotten stronger, he pulled me in and held me, I was confused because this felt different, It was like he wanted to tell me something, I broke us free, and signaled to the nearest bench, and sat down, he slowly sat next to me, and placed his hand on my knee, my eyes quickly darted to his hand, and back to him praying that he got the message that wanted him to know.  Zaquay swallowed and began to tell me what he wanted to tell me, " Well I just wanted to start off saying that I'm sorry, for fucking up your life and having sex with Malik, I shouldn't have done that, I wasn't thinking I was enjoying the sex, it was different than yours, but still I shouldn't have done that, I really don't know what I was thinking, and when that night at prom happened I came home and cried like a little baby I never knew that I could fall for a guy like that, but even now I still get the butterflies when I'm near you, or thinking about you just like that first day of tutoring, then you invited me to your place and we made love that was the best night of my life, and then it comes to this, and I know I'm losing it, my mental health is not up to par, I'm rapidly losing weight, and my grades are dropping, everything around me is changing people are looking at me differently, and I just can't take anymore, I want my old life back." he said to me, it was a lot to take in I really felt sorry for him, I really did but how I'm feeling can I really be able to forgive him, a part of me wants to turn his ass in, but a part of me wants to confront  Malik and just end it all, like how the fuck could you do this to me, so much anger was building up inside of me and i really wanted to punch this bitch in his face, because it was like why now tell me, how you feel when you had months to tell me, all of this could've been avoided, " Jabre say something, I need you to say something." he said, I couldn't say anything, I wanted  punch him so fucking bad right now.