Heartbreak Playlist - C.Nicole

#1

I couldn't describe the type of pain I was feeling. It was the worst feeling I had ever felt. I felt a hollow ache in the middle of my chest that made me want to do anything to get rid of it. I felt every crack that he filled start to come apart again. Everything that I thought he healed came apart and I didn't know how to handle. He made me whole in every possible way. He took all of my pain away when I was with him. He made me feel like I was I the most important person in the world...

And now I just feel pain. My eyes were glued to the moving form. They looked like they were one person, his hands traveling her leg, her hand raking her fingers down his back. Their lips were locked and the sound of her moans filled the room.

A single tear slid down my face as a silent scream was stuck on my lips. I wanted to die, that is the best way to describe how I felt. I wanted to tear my heart out of my chest, knowing the pain of the act would hurt less that this horrible feeling. This wouldn't heal. Not completely, not in a way that will last. It will always break again when I am sitting alone in the dark. It will break and tear and ache when the dark closes in and the silence is deafening. When my arms are cold and my chest is shaking. When there is no one around to see the pain being released. This isn't going to be something that I can run away from. And suddenly, I wished I could hate him with my entire being. I wish that could look at him and loath his smile, his eyes, his hair. The way his arms bulged when he moved them a little to the left. The way his stride was always so confident and sure. Something that I had always envied. I wish I could despise his husky, deep voice. I want that so bad, but all I felt is a pain worse than death. I would choose death over this, a million times over.

Suddenly, he looked up and he froze. My lips curled into a sneer and the anger that I had been waiting for rose up into my chest, finally numbing the excruciating pain in my heart. He jerked out of her embrace and grabbed his denim button-down shirt. She straightened her skimpy dress and rose from the desk she was laid against. I took one look at her and she just smirked at me. She raised a finger and wiped her lips and tucked her messy hair behind her ear. I wanted to slap her to the ground, firmly removing that nasty sneer off of her face. I looked back at him, he had a desperate look in his eyes and went to grab me. I quickly dodged and raised my chin.

" You will never touch me again, you filthy piece of shit," I spit.

" You don't understand-"

" I don't need to understand anything. No amount of talking could explain away what you were just doing. Absolutely nothing," I say with quiet contempt.

He ran his fingers through his hair and tugged slightly in frustration.

" Just listen to me," He pleaded.

" Just shut up, I want nothing to do with you now," I state as I swirl around to walk out of the room.

I feel strong, firm fingers curl around my arm and tug me away from the door.

" Let go of me!," I screech.

He tugged me closer, my heart is pounding out of my chest.

" She said to let go of her," I hear a familiar voice growl from behind me.

The hand around my arm freezes and then slowly releases it's hold.

" Why do you care," He asks, trying to sound firm, but I hear the waver in his voice.

" Because she is a human being and deserves to be respected. I would say the same about you, but no decent human being would do what you just did. You... are garbage," the voice behind me states.