Though as you read this I know they have told you by now of what I have done and have begun to remember what you have done. It is not that I am sorry for the thoughts bound to creep into your mind as you being to realize who I was but I know what it's like to blame yourself for something beyond your control. Don't pity me for my actions for I know people will not think of me for the actions I have taken will not fall into favor of anyone. I know what I have done is selfish but I believe I have earned my right to be selfish.
I have given you the last of my thoughts and for that you may not understand why but I trust one day you will. Though I know you must not trust that I have given you forgiveness and for that I understand your hesitation. Please allow me to explain why I have taken such drastic actions and to why you are not at fault.
You are not the only one to hurt me in such ways. Everyday I arrived home from school there stood in the door way the one person who would dare go farther then you ever would to destroy my very being. Everyday after you haunting words clawed at me he would grab me by my hair and drag me into the house screaming horrific things that I believed was undeniably me. Everyday once you decided I had enough of their beatings you would release me from the clutches of those who followed you unconditionally only for I to end up in his hands bleeding drastically from the punishment he granted me. Though those few days you gave me peace he refused to let me be instead he would tie me to the bed and do things I wish had killed me that very moment.
So please don't blame yourself for my death. This is what I wanted for as long as I can remember. I'm not like you, I can't stand tall, I can't be loud, I can't laugh, I can't be carefree then again that's all I see when you see me. Therefore I can't let you break for what I have done to myself. Do trust my words as you read this it's all in leaving behind because though you may hate me I love you and I thank you for those days you let me be free.
Goodbye my only friend.
