𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋, 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢

𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢 𝐚𝐦?

a/n: i know i rarely do this, but i decided to give a few songs to you guys to play while you read this chapter! change the song when you see ~~ . here they are in order:

I Didn't Know What Time It Was, by Stan Getz and Gerry Mulligan

Into It, by Chase Atlantic

On My Own, by Darci

enjoy the chapter!

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~~

You call Maki as you're on your way into your apartment. "Sooo.... it happened."

"And???"

"And.. it went really well, actually. We went to a café, I met his parents, and he's- okay wait, let me explain the parents part. They've wanted him to find someone for years. They would always ask him about it, so he rented me to get them to stop.

"Anyways... where was I? Oh! He's actually kind of adorable. He got all shy when his mom would start talking about him. And then! When we left-" you jumble your words at the end, talking way too fast to get anything audible out right.

"Babe, I'm going to need you to slow down again. I love that you're so excited, but if I want to be excited I've got to understand you." she laughs on the other side of the call.

"Sorry, sorry. Okay. Listen. This part. I was swooning. He gave me his jacket when we walked to the store together because I was cold-- fuck."

The girl on the phone looks at you and raises an eyebrow. "What? Is something wrong? What happened?"

"...I still have his jacket."

She looks at you like she's about to burst out laughing. "Aww, you must be so into him. You stayed after hours to walk with him?~ Just call him and give the jacket back, you've got his number now!"

"Yeah... I will. Or! He always goes to the same café as me, remember? So if I see him there, I can just give it to him."

"Oh, true. Good idea. You're going out tonight with your friends, right? Send pics!"

"Will do, love you! Byeee!" you say as you hang up the phone. As soon as you hang up, you put your phone down and get ready for your night out.

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You walk into the club and wave over to your girlfriends. How do they always look so cute?? you think as you admire your friends. You all sit down together, one of them bringing shots over.

You pick a glass up and pour it down your throat, feeling the warm sting and letting the liquid sink in. You all talk about your latest dates, the good experiences, the bad experiences, and the funny occurrences.

You leave out your date with Nanami, but you definitely let it be known that you flirted with a quite attractive "dilf."

You wouldn't trade your friendship with these girls for the world. You all have such a strong bond after all these years.

A few more stories, a few more shots, and a dozen Instagram story posts later, you all migrate to the dance floor. You dance for hours with the girls.

Tipsy from all the drinks, you're all causing quite the commotion. Laughter, twerking, grinding, and a lot of yelling between you guys and other club-goers.

As you're dancing you feel someone come up behind you and nudge your shoulder. Backing up into them, you start dancing together.

The blinding flash of the lights over the crowd, hazy atmosphere, and the music has an effect on your confidence. You start moving your hips with your dancing partner and grind against each other.

He leans into your side and whispers into your ear, feeling his warm breath on the shell of your ear, "you look absolutely stunning."

As he withdraws, you turn towards him and lean up close to his face. Lost in your intoxication, your boldness takes over, "bet I'd look even better with you on top of me, wouldn't you think?"

He takes you by the hand as the song is ending and lifts your arm up, spinning you away back into your group of girls.

You look at him as you walk away, catching a tall, toned figure with a sharp, scruffy jawline and an ash-brown mullet winking at you.

You look him up and down, as he does the same to you. You notice him stick his tongue against the side of his cheek and clench his jaw as he looks at you.

He took your breath away, in black jeans and a white button down that perfectly displayed his muscles. Making eye contact again, you run your tongue over your teeth and turn away towards your friends.

Too bad he's not Nanami... you caught yourself thinking. Alright, how is this man in my head all the time now? I need some serious help.

~~

You take a minute to sit down at a table and catch your breath. You look off into the room and see all your friends having fun.

The girls nights you guys have are one of the things you most look forward to, but for some reason, you weren't feeling it that much tonight.

Hell, the other girls have probably had at least ten or twelve shots among a couple other drinks, versus your three shots to get tipsy. You usually didn't mind getting drunk. Something was off.

You felt like you weren't getting anywhere in life.

You started picking yourself apart while you watched your friends have the time of their lives. You secluded yourself from the group at the table. You began to bite at your nails as you thought about where you were at.

You still haven't actually put in effort into finding a significant other, nor have you actually gotten a proper job.

What am I doing with my life right now? Is this really who I am?

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Kento Nanami arrives at his home, habitually setting his glasses on the table in the walkway and taking off his shoes at the door.

Stepping into his dark home, he takes out a container of leftovers and heats it up. He eats alone, yet again, sitting by himself in this shell of a home (if he could even call it that).

There's nothing here except for his necessities.

He hated coming home. It was just another boring place without life. Just another place to reflect on how he had a dull job that got him nowhere.

Another place to remind him of that one thing his parents always wanted him to have but he could never find.

A lifeless, loveless existence.

He grabs a glass and bottle from the center of the table, pouring that warm amber liquid he knows all too well and takes a drink, letting the bitter taste flood his palate and the feeling the slow sting of it as he swallowed.

Sighing, he rests his elbows on his legs and looks into his cold palms,

"Is this who I am?"

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i'm actually quite pleased with this chapter! i didn't really want the mc to go too far w the clubgoer tbh. but i was internally screaming reading back what i wrote bc i obviously made it jean kirstein. LMFAO. sorry guys (also not sorry). ive been making subtle changes the original plans of the story as i write tho! i hope it turned out good!

love u guys, please remember that! thank you guys sm for allowing me to channel my thoughts into this story. i appreciate you guys more than you know. get some water, ill see you next time! :)